Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Last blog was a bit down, and while I don't have anything specific to say today, I feel I can't leave the most recent blog sitting there like that.
I can't say I bounced back well from the weekend. I had a big cookie on Monday, and a scone on Tuesday. These are 'sometimes foods' that I might have every now and then, but following that weekend, and each other, not a good plan. As in, they're not taboo, they're okay once a week or so, but having just eaten an entire large pizza, it probably would've been best not to have them.
And exercise-wise, I'm still playing catch-up. I didn't get much Monday night, and Tuesday's cardio class was only 45m, not 60, to allow for some abs work. I planned for a 30m walk each day at lunch, but it's been raining so I haven't gone. So when you consider I'm eating at the top of my range, calculated for an hour a day of exercise, I'm probably still not making as good decisions as I could.
But, another day, another chance, right? I did get some C25K training in on Monday, took a half hour off work to get it done. I think I kind of need to kick-start again on the eating well and getting exercise thing.
I did find myself yesterday thinking that I miss the old ways. I liked being fat. I mean, I didn't like being a large size, but I enjoyed eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and however much of it I wanted. I don't like having to restrict myself. While I try not to deny myself anything because that leads to binging, I do have to restrict my food quite a bit on old habits to meet new calorie ranges. It's a permanent thing - it's just "healthy eating", not a restrictive diet, but it's a change to what I'm used to, and it's hard at times.
But I'm not giving up. I didn't enjoy being large. I like eating, but it has consequences I do not want. I am enjoying being thinner and fitting smaller sized clothes. I'm also enjoying being more active.
Actually, I think maybe the lack of exercise is what's led to the eating and the feeling of "I wish it was like before". I have also been just generally feeling down. A colleague asked me yesterday "What's wrong, you look like death?" I said "I feel like death". Nothing was wrong. No specific reason to be down. I just felt 'blah'. I think the lack of endorphins has done this. If I get going with the exercise again, I will feel better, I will be more upbeat, I will eat better.
It's hailing right now. I'll start later. ;)