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    BUNSI_FIDGET   12,920
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will power

Thursday, August 02, 2007

I am so sick and tired of lying to everyone, but most importantly, lying to myself.
Every night before I fall asleep is when I am most motivated in my thoughts about my weight loss goals. Then when I wake up the next morning, I've forgotten about it and automatically fill the bowl, probably about 3 servings worth, and it just escalates throughout the day. If I keep any junk here at all, I can't seem to stop myself from eating it. It's so frustrating! Usually it's my husband who buys the junk, if we have it, and i can't stay away from it. soda, chips, etc. So when i grocery shop i just don't buy those things, because i don't actually make a run to the store if i have a craving because i have time to think about it. I ate 2 pop tarts the other day. why did i do that? i don't really even like them! they were just here!
There was a time where i had amazing will power. Not sure where it went, but i know it's still got to be here somewhere. Once i get the ball rolling, i do well, and lose 20-30 lbs in a few months. and see and feel progress. and then for some reason, i just stop.... i know how great it feels, yet i just stop and end up putting the weight back on. I really can't play these games anymore. I am obese.... i'm 27 and i wan't to lose 100lbs by the time i turn 30. how am i going to do this? if i keep telling myself i'll start tomorrow, tomorrow is never going to come.
it's 9:15 a.m and so far so good. had a cup and a half of mini wheats for breakfast. my mind is set at the momment. I need to make it through today... make it one day at a time. it's time to get motivated. time to start tracking my food intake again. time to get serious. time for a life change. just make it through today.
i'm going to make an effort to blog atleast 5 days a week, to motivate myself and collect my thoughts in preparation for the long day.....

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JECKIE 8/2/2007 9:40AM

    Good for you!

I read recently that we all are "motivated" - we're just motivated to one thing more than another. So, try to figure out what you're motivated to that keeps you from eating the way you want and exercising. Then decide if those things are really worth more to you than feeling the way you want. I find this helps on those tough days.

Good luck! You can DEFINITELY do this.

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