Tuesday, July 24, 2007
You know, it's funny. When I fell of the wagon, I'd console myself with McDonald's. I'd turn to the one thing that was making me miserable-food. And I couldn't say no. I'd know that I'd be driving right by a drive-thru, and I'd tell myself that I didn't need it, that I could go right past it. And then I'd drive right on up, grab my food, and eat it guiltily in the car, making sure to throw the bag away before I got home. And then I'd feel sick, and lethargic, and hate myself more.
Now that I've been back on the program for a few weeks, I have more energy, I sleep better, and now when I drive past a drive-thru, I do just that. I don't have that craving, because now I know how it feels to feel good-to not be tired all the time.
I'm still struggling with my blood sugar, but it's not as bad.
I'm back to measuring my food with my little scale-it has become my friend again, and I don't feel bad for using it-I know that I need that help-that don't have that switch in my head that says "stop eating now-you've had a serving". I have my snack bag of cereal, or chips, or popcorn, and when it's gone, it's gone. I know that it'll register with my head and my stomach in a few minutes.
I'm lucky that I didn't put all the weight I originally lost back on-and I'm happy to see the scale is moving down again. With dedication to my new (old) ways, I hope to be back down 10 pounds to the weight I was the last time I saw my family.