Monday, July 09, 2007
Since I started SP I have learned taht it really is good to have goals. And I have been meeting and exceeding them in my eyes. I have done 2 good sized ones for me in the last week.
Fisrt I ran a 20k race. It is just shy of a half marathon (13.1) at 12.43 miles. It was a horrible run. Rained the first 6 miles so everything was soaked and heavy feeling. The course itself was nothing to see. We ran on a farm path and dirt roads. Corn on one side and sugar beets on the other right up to the edge of the farm path is not my style, lol. Now I did grow up in the country, but not that country. I really didn't feel like running either and my MP3 battery died on top of it. This is a big deal to a runner. So imagine my suprise when I finished with another personal best. I ran it in 1:42:40 for a split of 8:16. My 1/2 split was 8:18. I am very proud of myself for getting it done with all of the mental blocks I kept throwing at myself.
My second achievement is a bigger one to me and very personal. I took a weekend off. We went camping and I decided to just relax and enjoy. I skipped a run and knowingly ate the brownies I made, the animal crackers I bought with the intention of eating and thoroughly enjoyed the Quizno's for lunch on the way home yesterday. And I know that bugger was not on the light end of the menu. I did pack, and eat, plenty of veggies and fruit and packed lunchmeat to make sandwiches instead of McDonalds (blech) . Hey, I couldn't let go all of the way. But I also didn't think twice when I ate the brownie, crackers and chips. I didn't beat myself up for much more than an hour for not running. I sat in the sun and watched my husband race his first BMX race. It was nice to see someone else sweat it out and give it all they had. It was even nicer knowing that I was the inspiration that got him to do it. He told me that. The fact that I didn't start running until last August and have now won races in my age class and did my half made him feel like he had to try this race without being fully ready. I guess I have 3 achievements.
I have been in maintenance now since December, but officially on record since January. What I guess I want to get across is that 3 months ago I would have beat myself up for days. I would have been soooooo pissed at myself. I would have worried and rethought it all for days. But today is Monday and I have not done any of that. I got on the elliptical when we got unpacked yesterday because Sunday is a cross train day. This morning I got up and did ST for arms, shoulders and abs and rounded out the hour with 11 minutes on the ellipt. I ate well and feel good. This is new. This is good. This is what I think it should be about for the rest of my life. Fit does have a feeling people! And it feels damned GOOD. It felt good this weekend to mix in good and bad and to realize it is ok to have it both ways. That you CAN do it both ways and accept yourself. I didn't care that my hubby and 2 friends kind of ragged on me for packing carrots and cukes and that I chose them over chips and a walking taco. I must admit it must have looked funny to see a chick in a field with a veggie peeler going to town on a cuke. They even laughed at me for packing my pre-measured cereal which I do any time I travel. But I didn't care. It is how I cope and it works. If those are the small things I have to do to enjoy the treats then I willing sign up coach.
So today I feel
Good about myself
proud that I didn't cave to giving in all the way
Proud that I had the guts to do things my way
Empowered. I feel that more and more
Well balanced with my life and maintenace
I feel good about this whole thing. This feeling right now is what I hoped for when I started. That I could learn a better way to live, but not feel deprived and resentful like this was a diet.
I FEEL GOOD!