Thursday, December 07, 2017
A couple of weeks ago I had (another) burst of motivation to begin a 5k running program. Then. . . . .. I don't know what came up for me but one day I stopped wanting to run. Yesterday, I wanted to run again. . . . What I've discovered is that when something upsetting or emotionally or discouraging happens for me, I stop eating healthy or working out. Last time it had to do with my granddaughter and, the only reason I know that is because I had a text from her I was able to look back on and pinpoint the date. I don't have a hard time the day of the event but a couple days later I wonder what happened that I can't follow my program. With that in mind, I'm making note that I went to the dentist today.
The dentist's office always puts me in a state of childlike terror. I was shaking, crying and arguing with my husband irrationally. Even tonight, hours after leaving the dentist's office, I feel shaken. I still have a headache and I'm afraid to eat food. What I wonder though, do dentist visits trigger the fear and terror of my childhood? Do they cause me to reexperience the traumas in my life? I know it sounds crazy but I'm wondering if the dentist's office triggers deep memories from my childhood.