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A Blog Entry From MEGNEM

Well, I think that I've recovered from yesterday. I had a really bad day and instead of talking about today (which was nice & normal) I'm going to talk about yesterday. I was totally stressed about having all these people in my house! The Rogers technician was coming, and Julie, Jason, Aaron & Marta were coming to bring Jason's stuff for me to store (in his old bedroom). Well, aside from never knowing if & when my phone & internet were going to work, I was really upset about having all these people in & out. Don't ask me why - I KNOW it sounds really weird & really wimpy! But, the fact is - it stresses me. I don't seem to be able to overcome this particular stress. Maybe if someone came in & out everyday I'd get used to it - but I doubt it. I think I'd just crawl under a rock somewhere to be alone. I'm not a hermit or anything - and I really like and respect people - I just don't want them in my "safe place". Didn't really know I had one, until people started invading it LOL! I'd like to know why I feel this way. I guess I was always a little uncomfortable with company that I didn't plan myself. I like it when I decide to invite them - I have a lot of fun entertaining, but it seems that it has to be my decision. I remember my parents having TONS of company when I was growing up and I LOVED it! I always helped my Mom with everything and enjoyed socializing. But, there again, it was planned. I can't pinpoint a time that I started thinking of my place as "safe". it just sort of evolved I guess. It reminds me that I'm not like everyone else. Like Julie said, there's a reason I'm not working (OMG, I can't even imagine the stress of being at a job everyday!) I know I couldn't do it - all those people, deadlines, criticisms, gossip... I know there's also the upside - the friends, laughter, comraderie, feelings of accomplishment and praise. I'm weird, for sure. Working sounds like fun - I did work, and I did love parts of it. But now, I don't even feel good about having people in my place. I wonder what happened. I need to find out.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
AJANDREWS1999 7/30/2007 10:44PM

    you do work...i'm pretty sure when we had to fill in our tax papers my dear hubby listed me as a "domestic engineer!" i thought it had a nice ring and somedays i feel like being a stay at home mom should require a degree don't you? i know exactly how you feel i'm not usually good with unexpected company. i'm always worried if my house is clean enough or if i have enough to eat for them or if i'm presentable. i like my life orderly...my order!!! it just how some of us are..i'm there with you. i hope you feel better. julie said you took a fall. i hope you are feeling better. oh you might want to eat the peas after they thaw!! julie said you were using them to keep the swelling down.

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CELEST 7/8/2007 3:08PM

    Well like you I am a housewife, homemaker or whatever else they like to call it. I have however worked secularly too. You just do deal with all those things you mentioned, its like having a sick child, or an elderly parent you're dealing with....you just do.
Housewife is the lowest paying job I've ever done, with no medical aid, pension scheme, official leave, sick leave.......but I wouldn't trade it for any secular employment with all its remunerations. I love doing things for my husband and family, even his work when hes out the country.
I love the way you write, it seems to come from your mind, straight onto the page.
Be good, keep working, and see you in the "look who's reached goal" section.

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GUGIE76 6/13/2007 12:53AM

    oh - my heart goes out to you - you're not "wimpy" and i wish with all my heart that you could only see and believ that - it was an overwhelming day in so many ways!!! holy cow - and i'm so glad that today was better - yesterday felt like 3 days and today just slipped by - lol - i guess that was a good sign - i don't know what to say - i wish i had some sort of insite to share that could help you understand what i see and how view it - perhaps if i can get a handle on how to explain that i could help you - but i guess i'll have to figure it out - i want so badly for you to like yourself and be proud of yourself and the hard work it's taken to get back to the amazing place you are - 10 years ago i was simply prayin that would happen - and here you are = the strongest person i know...i love you with all my heart!

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Other Entries by MEGNEM

  • - 6/6/2007
  • - 6/3/2007
  • - 6/2/2007
  • - 5/30/2007