Well, I think that I've recovered from yesterday. I had a really bad day and instead of talking about today (which was nice & normal) I'm going to talk about yesterday. I was totally stressed about having all these people in my house! The Rogers technician was coming, and Julie, Jason, Aaron & Marta were coming to bring Jason's stuff for me to store (in his old bedroom). Well, aside from never knowing if & when my phone & internet were going to work, I was really upset about having all these people in & out. Don't ask me why - I KNOW it sounds really weird & really wimpy! But, the fact is - it stresses me. I don't seem to be able to overcome this particular stress. Maybe if someone came in & out everyday I'd get used to it - but I doubt it. I think I'd just crawl under a rock somewhere to be alone. I'm not a hermit or anything - and I really like and respect people - I just don't want them in my "safe place". Didn't really know I had one, until people started invading it LOL! I'd like to know why I feel this way. I guess I was always a little uncomfortable with company that I didn't plan myself. I like it when I decide to invite them - I have a lot of fun entertaining, but it seems that it has to be my decision. I remember my parents having TONS of company when I was growing up and I LOVED it! I always helped my Mom with everything and enjoyed socializing. But, there again, it was planned. I can't pinpoint a time that I started thinking of my place as "safe". it just sort of evolved I guess. It reminds me that I'm not like everyone else. Like Julie said, there's a reason I'm not working (OMG, I can't even imagine the stress of being at a job everyday!) I know I couldn't do it - all those people, deadlines, criticisms, gossip... I know there's also the upside - the friends, laughter, comraderie, feelings of accomplishment and praise. I'm weird, for sure. Working sounds like fun - I did work, and I did love parts of it. But now, I don't even feel good about having people in my place. I wonder what happened. I need to find out.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
you do work...i'm pretty sure when we had to fill in our tax papers my dear hubby listed me as a "domestic engineer!" i thought it had a nice ring and somedays i feel like being a stay at home mom should require a degree don't you? i know exactly how you feel i'm not usually good with unexpected company. i'm always worried if my house is clean enough or if i have enough to eat for them or if i'm presentable. i like my life orderly...my order!!! it just how some of us are..i'm there with you. i hope you feel better. julie said you took a fall. i hope you are feeling better. oh you might want to eat the peas after they thaw!! julie said you were using them to keep the swelling down.
3620 days ago
Well like you I am a housewife, homemaker or whatever else they like to call it. I have however worked secularly too. You just do deal with all those things you mentioned, its like having a sick child, or an elderly parent you're dealing with....you just do.
Housewife is the lowest paying job I've ever done, with no medical aid, pension scheme, official leave, sick leave.......but I wouldn't trade it for any secular employment with all its remunerations. I love doing things for my husband and family, even his work when hes out the country.
I love the way you write, it seems to come from your mind, straight onto the page.
Be good, keep working, and see you in the "look who's reached goal" section.
3643 days ago
oh - my heart goes out to you - you're not "wimpy" and i wish with all my heart that you could only see and believ that - it was an overwhelming day in so many ways!!! holy cow - and i'm so glad that today was better - yesterday felt like 3 days and today just slipped by - lol - i guess that was a good sign - i don't know what to say - i wish i had some sort of insite to share that could help you understand what i see and how view it - perhaps if i can get a handle on how to explain that i could help you - but i guess i'll have to figure it out - i want so badly for you to like yourself and be proud of yourself and the hard work it's taken to get back to the amazing place you are - 10 years ago i was simply prayin that would happen - and here you are = the strongest person i know...i love you with all my heart!
3668 days ago
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