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Finding Light in the Darkness

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Nothing makes you appreciate the little things in life more than suddenly being without them. I'm determined that this is NOT going to be a whiny blog. Instead, my mood is beginning to improve a little now that I'm three weeks post-op. I'm still stuck at home with my wheelchair, but I go back to my doctor tomorrow and I'm hoping he'll release me to go back to work. At least I'd be able to get out of this house on a regular basis and that would be a good thing.

I've always heard that everything happens for a reason. I've spent the last month struggling to understand what could possibly be the reason for this injury? Maybe one day I'll figure it out for sure, or maybe I already have. Maybe I'm learning to appreciate the positive things in my life instead of dwelling on the negative.

We go through our every day lives and most of us never stop to think about how blessed we truly are. When I had my elective surgery in February I was only on crutches three weeks before I was allowed to walk on my heel. My broken leg will now keep me off of it completely for six to eight weeks. I find myself in a wheelchair rolling around my house, trying to figure out how to reach things in my kitchen (I've gotten pretty good at locking my chair and standing on one leg), rolling into my laundry room and doing laundry, bathing in an entirely different way, and knowing I can't jump in my car and go anywhere I want. Some days I get extremely frustrated, but one thing is for sure, I am learning to appreciate the little things in life more than I ever have.

When it comes to my ability to walk around with ease, I don't think I'll ever again take that for granted. I've always been thankful for the things I did have in my life, but now I wake up every morning and I thank God for those blessings. I thank Him for my family and friends who are here for me. My boys would do anything I asked to help me out, but the truth is I need to be useful. I actually found myself vacuuming yesterday from my wheelchair. It was interesting and it took a lot longer than usual, but I did it. It makes me feel better when I can accomplish something, anything, each day.

One thing I do miss right now that I can't yet do anything about is my grand-dog. My son and his wife have a pit bull. He is a big baby who truly loves everyone, but he is also 65 pounds of muscle. When he sees me (or anyone) he gets so excited, so they're afraid that in his excitement he might jump on me and my leg and possibly hurt it more. I have only seen him once since my accident, and that was when they held him on the other side of a baby gate so I could wheel up to it and pet him. It was great because I got lots of kisses from him. Sahara is also missing him terribly because she adores him and loves playing with him. I really look forward to the day when I can take the two of them back outside and play with them.

Heinlein and Sahara on my couch. No, neither of them are supposed to be on the furniture, but they had played so hard that day and were both exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to wake them up and make them get down.

Bottom line is, try not to take the little things for granted. Every day, when you open your eyes in the morning, try to appreciate what you do have and be thankful for another day. I now feel so much more blessed in my life.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keep pushing, my summer has been crazy busy. We finally finished renovating our house..yes yes.. we went to the oregon Coast for a week. Then little skip got attacked by a damn tick. Ugh. The little guy had to have ear surgery
    an aureal ear hematoma. But little skippy just keeps going.

    1188 days ago
    I love your positive attitude Cindy. Be careful though not to do any more injuries to yourself. The sooner you are back on your feet the sooner you can get out and about emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Sahara is a little sweetie, she must give you lots of love. And Heinlein sure looks a big bundle of energy.
    1210 days ago
    Have a full (and speedy!) recovery!
    1210 days ago
    I'm so sorry you've had to go through this orthopedic surgery (perhaps some of the most difficult from which to heal, and involving the most pain at times, too emoticon ) but hopefully, you'll soon be close to feeling like your former self. All the best as you continue to improve...which I'm sure you will. Those doggies surely miss you, too! emoticon emoticon
    1211 days ago
  • _JODI404
    I'm glad you are looking for, and finding the positives in this situation.

    I appreciate your bottom line conclusion:

    " try not to take the little things for granted. Every day, when you open your eyes in the morning, try to appreciate what you do have and be thankful for another day. I now feel so much more blessed in my life."

    I always take away a much deeper sense of gratitude for my health after I've been sick. For my health/fitness after I've been injured. It's very easy to take things for granted -- especially little things. Sometimes it's those little things that mean the most.

    I do hope you it went well at the Dr. and you are able to get out of the house, and back to work. I know it's hard to slow down when it's against your nature.
    Way to go for seeing all the blessings!!

    Love & light to you!
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    1214 days ago
    What a wonderful outlook you've developed. It appears that a major lesson gleaned is knowing that we don't have to have all the answers and understand all the reasons - we just have to accept it as part of a greater plan and roll with it. Quite an accomplishment, Miss Cindy!
    Speaking of rolling..., I think my house will accommodate a wheelchair and vacuum cleaner - come on over!

    1214 days ago
    Cindy, Have to say how happy I am that you have faith. We will never know the reasons for things that have been dealt to us in life, however, we do know God is in control and knows us better than we know ourselves. We are reminded of Romans 8:28 and trust in God's word. Praying that your days improve and that soon you will be back at work and PLAY! Thank you for this blog filled with inspiration for all of us. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1214 days ago
    Wishing you better days.
    1215 days ago
    This is another well written blog of yours, Cindy! You have such a knack for writing.

    I love the pic of the 2 dogs! It is wonderful that they get along so well.

    I hope and pray that you can get out of the house, and get healed up so you can go to work!

    Big (((HUGS))), Cindy!


    1215 days ago
    You are able to find the silver lining to your longer convalescence with your foot this time -- and it says a lot about you as a person.

    It's true there is nothing like losing something to make us appreciate it even more.
    And you are right - we do take for granted so many good things in life.

    Thanks for reminding us. We are all guilty of forgetting it.

    1215 days ago
    Way to make lemonade out of lemons Cindy!! Great attitude, thanks for sharing your thoughts, they are beautiful. Hang in there, praying for your continued good recovery:-)
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    1215 days ago
    Very well written! As you know I've learned some of these things too over the past 9 months. Because of the stroke, I still have a lot of balance problems and my right hand shakes. I have to do so many things different than I did before and watch how I do them. At least I'm not on a walker anymore like I was for a while LOL. When my mom was alive and in a wheelchair and I took her out places, I learned how many talked to me and ignored her (nothing wrong with her mind, it was osteoporosis that put her in the wheelchair) and other things about how "handicapped" are treated. I'm like you, I learn to do things differently but I still do them. At least to the best of my ability ha ha. I know what you're going through now is so hard since you are so active but I also know you are learning so much from it. My mom broke her femur (the long bone in the thigh) and because of the osteoporosis it didn't heal well and after she broke it she ended up in a wheelchair all the time for the last 9 or so months of her life. We learn to be thankful in all kinds of things. Thank goodness you will heal and not have her kinds of problems for the rest of your life. But you are doing awesome and you will be back to doing things you love, but with a whole new awareness!
    1215 days ago
    You all got crutches? and a Wheel Chair? Jeez all I had was a walker. I was laid up for several weeks due to knee injuries. I love your blog! It is just so enlightening! I too have learned to appreciate the small things! I have always been an active person and the last few years....well, lets just say I only went to work and came home to sleep! I didn't exercise, ate what I wanted and didn't really care about my appearance... Then one morning, I awoke and found out that wow my knee is popping! So I held the knee cap and kept bending and straightening it and all of a sudden it popped super loud and Bam!! I was in excruciating pain! Yup! Tore my meniscus.. I hobbled around for nearly a year before I actually did anything about it! I was too busy with work and crying in my beer (so to speak, I don't drink). After a long bout of pain I finally went and got it taken care of, then eventually had to have a total knee.. Had pain for over 3 years all total.. I became closer to God, thanked him for another day and got on with my life! However, that didn't' stop me from eating all that junk and not exercising! It should have been a wake-up call, but it wasn't. Now my other knee is going! I will not have surgery, I am eating well, exercising and losing the terrible weight that I gained over the years.. Slowly but surely. I appreciate the days I have no pain and can walk to the mailbox, or sit here at the computer more and more each day! As the weight comes off, so does some of the pain. I will always have the bone on bone pain, but at least the other parts aren't hurting! Thank God!!
    Keep pushing toward your goals and NEVER GIVE UP!
    1215 days ago
  • ODAT1117
    ou have found one of the reasons for the injury. And maybe part of it, too, is for your sons to appreciate YOU more and spend more time with you. What a blessing THAT is!!! Maybe the lesson isn't for you. Maybe it's for others. :-)

    I do totally understand what you mean, though, about needing to be useful. I've been on crutches for extended periods of time in my life due to injuries and surgeries. SO frustrating to be incapacitated and not able to do anything. The worst time was when I was a single mom but it worked out perfectly because my then 9 year old had just gotten out of the hospital and being laid up allowed me to stay home (for a MONTH!!!) and help her. It also allowed the family to take the focus off of her and gave her lots of things to do to keep busy and to not focus on her illness at the time. Yes, it all happens for a reason.

    You have a great positive attitude and that serves you very well. You'll get through this just like everything else. I'm sending you patience and strength and faith. :-)

    Hang in there!!!
    1215 days ago
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