This year has not been my best year and it probably all started back in February...so let me start there...
February i felt on top of the world! I was consistently running (mind you I only started running towards the end of November 2013), the scale was showing a great low number (246lbs) and my body was slimming down. I felt great and looked great!
Sometime towards the end of February I tweaked my knees...BOTH knees. I still ran a bit but mainly went back to walking. I had a 10k on February 22nd and my goal was to complete it under 90 minutes. Because my knees were hurting pretty badly i walked more of that race than i wished. I actually finished the race in 93 minutes...I was so terribly disappointed in myself taht i cried when i was done. I missed my goal by three lousy minutes!
This started my downfall...
I allowed that disappointment to control me. But i didn't realize it for another few months.
In March I had my first half marathon for this year - my 5th overall. I had taken time off from running to allow my knees to feel better. I still ran a bit of the half but not much. I did have my best time for a half at 3hrs and 36mins but my goal for 2014 was to complete a half in under 3hrs and 15mins. The disappointment and loss of personal records was taking it's toll on me.
In April, just 2 weeks after the half, i had my next 10k. I felt fantastic! I ran/walked the entire course but i had decided not to go balls to the wall so to speak. I just went at a pace taht i knew i could sustain. I finished in 96 minutes but i had ran/walked the ENTIRE course.
But the realization that I was not going to meet my time goals this year was naging me in the quiet depths of my thoughts. Now we all know those voices aren't quiet...
Then May happened...my breaking point. The point where i said "eff" it i'm done!
To this day I have not relayed what happened to anyone...it was a story kept bwtween two friends that went to complete another half marathon together. So here it goes...
May 3rd was the Biggest Loser Half Marathon in Beaumont, TX. We drove down to partake in the expo, meet some of the past contestants and then eventually rested for the half marathon itself. I felt good. My legs were loose. I was ready.
We got up bright and early to make it over to the start of the half. The air was already thick with humidity and it was in the high 80's already by 6:30am. Since Beaumont is along the ocean i knew the air was going to be thicker and therefore it was going to be a bit harder to breathe.
The first nine miles we ran and walked and we were doing about a 16 minute mile pace. PERFECT! I knew i wasn't going to make my goal time but i was on the road to beating my best time to date.
Then things went bad pretty fast from there.
Somewhere around mile 10 i started slowing down...i mean really slowing down. I found it hard to take in a breath. I had to actually stop a few time between mile 10 and 12 to just try to gulp in a deep enough breathe. My breathing was rather shallow and that sun was beating on us something fierce. I should also mention that the final 2 miles had some pretty good hills and very little shade. I need to also mention taht there were NO medics along the route. There were a few people taht were laying on the side of the route trying to catch their breath with no one helping them. I was getting angry by the minute at this point.
Here was my thought...this is a freaking half marathon. On top of that this was the Biggest Loser Half Marathon. They wanted people that were over weight and out of shape to go for it. BUT THEY FAILED TO MAKE IT SAFE FOR ANYONE. They had volunteers but they were just standing around or were only at the water stations (about every 3 miles). There were people passing out and no one was there to help them.
I would have stopped at mile 11 but since there was no help in sight i just kept on walking. At mile 13 there were FINALLY medics and police officers but by them i just need a few more feet to call it a day. This was by far the worst event i had ever done. Take my time and me out of the equation and it was still a terrible event. They placed way too many people in harms way by not having it properly orchestrated.
After the half i grabbed a few bottles of water and some clementines and sat in the shade for about 30 minutes. I needed to cool off as my body was tremendously over heated and i was starting to shake.
I've never quit a race before and the fact that i so badly want to just stop 2 miles out from the finish should be an indication as to just how bad this event was for all of us. This was my tipping point. I was done.
A few weeks later i had my next 10k. It was the Disco Run 10k and i finished in 1hr and 41mins. I struggled during this race because i hadn't kept up my training. I was still out there walking but at a leisurely pace not at a race pace.
In June i had the Must-Dash 5k and completely walked it. I was miserable.
Towards the end of June and the first two weeks of July I went home to Chicago to visit family. When i got back i weight myself...i was 283.4lbs. OUCH!
I've never stopped moving throughout these months but my eating...well i was eating my disapointments and the scale was the convincing evidence. I don't even want to know what the scale would have shown had i stopped walking during all of these months.
I didn't want to live my old life style. So i made a plan and started working towards reaching my goals. The first two weeks on any new plan is difficult. It was a bunch of ups and downs both nutritionally and emotionally.
I had my first 15k two days after i returned home. I was not ready for it so i dropped back to the 5k. I barely ran any of it. I was feeling every pound i had packed back on my body. I finished in just over 52 minutes.
August 1st i weighed in at 279.8lbs. This morning i weighed in at 276.2lbs.
I registered for my races at the end of 213 and beginning of 2014. Here's what's still on the agenda for the year:
8/30 Pink Soles in Motion 5k
9/21 Plano Hot Balloon Half Marathon
9/27 Race for the Cure 5k
10/25 Moster Dash Half Marathon
11/27 Thanksgiving Day Run 5k
I know u'll do at least 2 5k's in December i just haven't decided which ones yet. I've also registered for a few races in 2015 already as well.
So it took me a few months to gather myself up and get out of the funk and downward spiral. I'm currently in training for my next half marathon in September and i'm taking it one day at a time. I will do my best and i will be happy with knowing i did just that.