Husband and I talked last night. We actually talked a couple times. Halfway through our conversation, his mother called. He hasn't talked to her since he called her on Mother's Day, so he took her call. They talked for quite a while, and she ended the conversation by asking him if things were ok between them. He said he was disappointed by recent developments within the family, but was glad to find out they had been trying to make things right with his sisters. The conversation was a good one, and it ended well, so I was happy for him about that. Happy for her, too. She certainly misses out on a great person when she ignores him.
Speaking of which...
All my SILs have been at odds for a long time. They all say they don't want to see each other. Then I see pictures of them on Instagram today...pictures of them at the pool together. They talk to me about things, but then they go and suddenly hang out like things are fine. I don't get it. I'm EXHAUSTED and can't thoroughly explain things. I just feel like everyone's being two-faced again, and my family and I are being left on the sidelines...again. They always excluded us. Just like I've told them, they don't owe anyone an explanation when WE get together...but it's just frustrating when they say they have problems with someone, but then turn right around and hang out with them. I also don't understand why they tell me all kinds of things about why they aren't crazy about this SIL...but then suddenly just stop talking to me about things when they hang out with her. They tell me all kinds of other things...but won't tell me when they're going to get together at the pool...maybe working things out, etc? All my brain can see is them getting together again...without us...without my child...hiding things from me...etc. My niece was the one who invited us to the pool. Not any of them. We had to work today, but sheesh. I just don't understand them at all sometimes. It pisses me off, actually. I don't know why. They know I can't stand this SIL or this entire situation. I've said over and over I don't want to see this SIL...but why wouldn't they tell me they're getting together, to let me know how things went, etc. It's just a big confusing, frustrating situation.
Believe me, it doesn't make much sense to me, either.
All I really want is for my family to have PEACE. I just want us to be a family again.
So back to the conversation with Husband. It went really well. He was very receptive. Part of it is that we had a break in the conversation. After his mom called, we had dinner. Then we finished our conversation. This helped me realize that he really does need time to think and mull things over. I also learned he's under much more stress and responsibilities at his new job than he was at his other one. Not that he's unhappy. He loves his new job...there's just a lot more for him to do. When he comes home, he's just kind of out of it. I can appreciate that. I told him I wanted him to pick up after himself, take out the trash/recycling, and take care of the yardwork. If he promised to do that, I'd do the other things around the house. We agreed that sometimes he would need to do certain things, but overall, I can accept these terms. I also told him he really needs to step up and do what he says he's going to do when he says he's going to do it, and that when he doesn't, it makes me feel like I don't matter.
It was a good, productive conversation, and for the first time in DAYS, I didn't cry myself to sleep. I slept really well. I just wish I hadn't had to get up so early.
Daughter and I went and cleaned two condos today. She was an absolute angel. We worked SO HARD today! I just about couldn't believe what a good kid she was. She was so cooperative and sweet. She made me laugh a whole lot. Even though we worked so hard, we had a really good day. My poor back just feels broken. I'm so glad I don't have to do anything tomorrow. I just want to rest. I have planned a few little activities the next couple of weeks with Daughter, to round out our summer. She's had a good time, but I've found this a very strange, stressful summer. I'm actually really looking forward to being back in a classroom, working my normal hours, having my normal paychecks, normal weekends, etc.
Anyway. I'm tucking myself into bed. It's been a crazy few days and I'm absolutely pooped.