Monday, August 04, 2014
This morning Hubby told me he didn't want to go to Cuba.
This after numerous times telling me he'd love to go.
I've offered to pay the whole trip.
But his words were "I don't want to go to a third world country".
That alone was enough to set me off. They are financially poor. They are not backwards. They have a rich culture I'd love to see and learn about.
I left the house upset. But as I was driving, I realized something.
He has every right to feel the way he does. Just as I have the same right.
I was upset at the thought of not going to Cuba.
He said "we" were not going.
As sad as it would make me, I could go alone. His refusal to go doesn't mean I can't go. It may mean he's going to try to talk me out of it, and maybe even start a fight to get me to not go. But in the end the choice is mine.
I told him he was more important to me than a trip. Let's talk about what he wants to do for a honeymoon. But as for Cuba, I've paid some non refundable deposits. I can change the dates, but I'm still going. I'm going to take advantage of the vacation I've been planning.
So now the ball is in his court. We'll discuss what to do for the honeymoon, but the Cuba trip is only postponed. I am still going. If he changes his mind and comes, great. If not, I'll find a way to be okay going by myself.
I am honestly at peace with this. I do not want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do. If he doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go. That's it.
I'm frustrated that he's becoming all talk and no action, but that's his life. His choices. I'm not willing to give up my life and my choices for him. I've given up plenty already.