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Day 266 - "Change The Voices In Your Head..."


Friday, August 01, 2014

"...make them like you instead."

I've been doing some thinking today. It's really interesting to me how easy it is to be kind to someone else but not to ourselves. If a fellow Sparker says she has a goal of losing 80 pounds then I will definitely be there to support with encouraging words. If another member says he has a goal of running a 5K in under 50 minutes then I proudly cheer him on.

Then why is it that if I just want to lose the next 10 pounds I think to myself, "You're never going to make it. You're too slow and too fat"? Why is it that cheering on others comes so much easier than cheering on myself? I would never tell an aspiring swimmer, "Oh, you're too out of shape. You might as well not try."

Yet this is what I do to myself day after day. I berate myself and tear down my self-confidence. I wish I could tell you why I do this. I suppose it's just old habit at this point. I've never found myself particularly pretty or strong. My self-esteem is lower than dirt and I don't remember ever being confident.

So today I've decided to change that. I'm not expecting any miracles overnight but instead of telling myself all the reasons why I'm not capable, I'm going to try to focus on the progress and positives I've made so far.

Positives:
~I can consistently run a mile without having to stop to walk.
~I had a fitness test done before I started weight training and my biceps strength is naturally in the "excellent" category which is in the athlete range.
~My legs are toned and my calves look awesome in a pair of heels.
~I'm 10 pounds down and I went from a size 12 jean to a size 10.
~I am okay with eating a serving size. Before a serving size would seem like not enough food but I'm starting to recognize what is and is not an appropriate amount to eat.
~Along with my biceps strength, I am a naturally strong person. I have good muscle tone to begin with.

Progress:
~The biggest thing is my tummy needs to go! Dropping 10 pounds is good but I still have 36 to go and I am very ready for my stomach to no longer shove my pants down constantly.
~I am working on being able to run further than a mile.
~I am getting a lot closer to drinking my daily recommended amount of water.
~I began a beginner's schedule to running a half marathon. It's going to take me quite a while to get there since right now I can only run a mile but it's a long term goal of mine. It'll be in progress for a while.
~Working on not wanting to binge all the time. I am getting much better at this one but it gets difficult.

So I'm not perfect. In reality I'm not a super athlete. I am very out of shape and I do have an unhealthy relationship with food. However, that doesn't mean that I can't, or won't, improve. In fact, it gives me lots of room for improvement. The nice thing is that at this point it can only go up from here.

I'm sure some negative comments will slip in here and there and I will try to tear myself down again but I will do my best to keep those thoughts away.

In the words of Pink:

"Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You are perfect to me"

Pink - Perfect (Clean version)
https://www.youtube.com/watc
h?v=-BIye98Ryic

I highly recommend listening to this song if you're ever doubting yourself and your abilities. You *are* perfect and I will cheer all of you on!

Have a great night, y'all! :)


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
TWESTEN1 8/1/2014 8:36PM

    Beautifully said! I put myself down for YEARS and changing my attitude and self worth was what really helped me to start losing weight. When we constantly put ourselves down we never truly feel worthy of losing the weight & so we don't. Sounds like you have a lot to be proud of & positive about! Good job on the running - I'm sure in a few months you'll be running miles & feeling fantastic about it!

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