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    ACHANSO   32,426
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Staying home after having kids- the Quandary of quitting full time "work."

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

I'm currently 18.5 weeks pregnant and since the babies might/probably will come early I'm trying to think ahead about paperwork for my employer, etc.

My husband has a good job with the railroad, and we have been saving conscientiously throughout the 6 yrs we've been married in hopes that I can stay home with the babies after they're born.

We have determined that for our family (everyone has to make their own choice and I respect that)....this will be the choice we want to make. I am suddenly finding myself very conflicted though.

I want to stay home and raise my babies, but I really do love my job. I enjoy it a lot- love my boss and co-workers- have great hours, pay and benefits.

This is something we've always wanted to do but now that it's actually here- or will be in a few months- I'm finding it hard to actually make the final decision and let people know that I won't be coming back after maternity leave.

While a great job that you enjoy is a blessing.....I can't help but think that if I hated my job that would make this decision a lot easier! haha. Oh well, I just need to be thankful that I have loved this job. And as I remind myself, I can stay home with the kids then go back to work when they get into school--they're only little for a short time and I can't get that time back.

The other thing is that pretty much everyone that I work with has had kids- the vast majority of them- but still worked after having kids. They took maternity leave but came back to work and put their kids in daycare. So- I'm definitely almost the only one that i know of here that has made this choice. It's challenging to be the odd one out- even if you're convinced you're doing the right thing.

Ah well. This was just my venting blogging session I guess. I just need to keep reminding myself that this is what we've decided would be best for our family in our situation.........it will work out and I'm sure someday I'll look back and be glad that I stayed home with the babies.
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ACHANSO 8/4/2014 11:52AM

    Thanks everyone for the comments about being a stay at home mom

I really appreciate both the thoughts about the topic and the general support :)

KONRAD695, My employer did say I could come back part time, so that was very nice of them to offer. But I guess I just feel like (since it's a 30 min commute to my job anyway) it would still be hard to be away and would be stressful for our family since my husband's job is on-call/no schedule/and he wouldn't be able to take care of them if they were sick probably due to his work.

I do agree with you== I definitely am going to need some away time.
I'm 30 yrs old- we've been married 6 yrs and I have been in the workforce for over 8 yrs after college- plus I am a people person/outgoing--so it will be QUITE an adjustment and I'm going to need to make it a priority to get out and do things after the babies are born. For my own good/sanity and for theirs too.



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KONRAD695 7/30/2014 10:36PM

    I'm going to go against the grain here, just a little. Have you talked to your boss about the possibility of coming back part time. Some of the people I work with say it just gets them out of the house, and some places like having a part time "pre trained" person to help.
Just my random thoughts about keeping options open.

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WALNUTT1961 7/30/2014 1:46PM

    I wish I had stayed home with my children. They are 25 & 23 now. My sister stayed home with her children and enjoyed it so much. We had a few employees who didn't decide to stay home with their baby until they were on maternity leave. They decided not to return to work. It would have been a little better if they had made that decision before they went on maternity leave.
There is no right or wrong way. Make the decision that best fits your family! Mom knows best! emoticon
Congrats on the twins! Hope you are doing well!

Comment edited on: 7/30/2014 1:51:15 PM

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PARKSCANADA 7/30/2014 1:20PM

    I have been a stay-at-home Mom for 26 years. I never ever thought emoticon that would be my life, but that's how it turned out. I am really lucky that I don't have to work. But staying home with my 5 kids (26, 24, 22, 20, 17) has been the best life I could ever imagine. I was able to walk them to school when they were little and have them home for lunch in elementary school. I got to know their friends and the teachers because I was always able to go on the class field trips and volunteer in the classroom. I was a part of their sports teams and Brownies and Guides. I've been able to travel with my kids for sports. If I worked, I'd have never been able to get the time off. It's not right for everyone and not everyone has the choice. I don't know if you need to give your employer an answer now, but wait until the babies are born. Maybe you'll know that to be the best mother you can be means you need to go back to work, a career you say you love. Or maybe you'll find that you can't imagine leaving your kids and you will be the best Mom because you stayed home. There is no right or wrong answer and you will find yourself wondering what if on an occasion or two no matter what decision you come too. Just make it right for you and your family.

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