This milestone has been a long time coming! Before I kick up my heels and celebrate this awesome accomplishment, I want to be serious for a moment.
I hit 80 pounds down September 4, 2013 and if you told me on that day that I would be claiming my 90 pounds down trophy in JULY of 2014, I would have told you that you were insane! I mean seriously, the difference between 80 pounds lost and 90 pounds lost is a measly 10 pounds. In the grand scheme of MY journey that's a drop in the bucket. What would possibly have to happen for it to take almost 11 months to lose those 10 pounds?!
Well I can tell you exactly what happened. I had a couple bouts of self sabotage, being afraid of my success and gaining back 10-15 pounds several times. It involved hitting 85 pounds lost on Halloween
, starting to freak out about how good I was doing, and using the Holidays as an excuse to eat everything all the way through the new year.
If you want to look at the big picture, I should probably be celebrating my goal weight right about now. If I was 185 at Halloween, that is an entire 9 months... and with my goal sitting currently at 160 that would be 25 pounds to go, which is less than 3 pounds a month. But as we know, this weight loss journey isn't simple math. Don't get me wrong, we all know that the name of the game is calories in calories out, but it isn't always that simple. Sometimes the scale gets stuck, sometimes our bodies refuse to budge.. but sometimes it is just exhausting trying to do everything right. This journey is so much more mental/emotional than it is physical. Dropping pounds and sizes is fun, looking better is fun, but sometimes it'is a mental battle to not only get the weight off but to not let it creep back up!
I will say that these 11 months since celebrating 80 pounds lost were not wasted. I learned a lot about myself!
I learned that...
I will never give up on this weight loss journey, and that it means so much to me!
Spark people is essential to my success. Giving and receiving support is very important on my journey!
That just because I gain back 10 pounds doesn't mean I have to throw in the towel and gain all my weight back.
This journey is something that I have to stay on top of. We all have bad days but if we get back to it we will be successful in the long run.
I feel like with all I have learned, moving forward is going to be a little easier. I now am at a point where it's 1-2 bad days and that's it... before it could have been weeks or even months before getting back on track. I also learned that I have a knack for letting 10-15 pounds back on before turning things around. Having that knowledge is important and now I've set a 5 pound limit... if for some reason I find myself slipping or having a rough time, I will consider a 5 pound gain the danger zone and have a plan of action in place to turn it around!
So overall is there a teeny tiny part of me that wishes I was here right now, celebrating hitting my goal weight, or even just 100 pounds lost? Sure, a teeny tiny part of me wishes I had been a little more diligent during those "rough months" and been that much farther in my journey... But at the end of the day I am thankful for where I am right now! I am excited about what I have accomplished, and I am appreciating all that I have learned on this journey! I have so many tools, tricks and healthy habits that there is no doubt in my mind that I will get to my goal and I will learn to maintain this weight! If you had asked me March of 2012 if I believed I could really lose over 100 pounds and be successful at this, I would have told you no. I figured I'd lose about 40 pounds, get stuck and quit and gain it all back plus more. Why would I think that? Because it happened 3 times before, and there are 100's of other times I never even got to the 40 pound mark before giving up. I had no idea that THIS TIME would be the LAST TIME, and I am determined to keep it that way. I have no intention of ever finding this weight again, and that is why I am celebrating 90 pounds lost FOREVER!
Now it's time to par-tay! Help yourself to some snacks and drinks!