Sunday, July 27, 2014
I got back from Ohio on Wednesday night. Let me tell you...it was the worst vacation of my life.
Let's just say I've been planning this vacation for months. My husband and I were going with six of our friends. We paid for our tickets and hotel and it was going to be the perfect weather for a day at Cedar Point.
We left early Monday morning and prepared for the long drive to Sandusky, Ohio. It took seven hours. I was slightly peeved because I knew the toll road was going to be faster, but the group said it was tradition to take the scenic route (this was our first time going with the group). Anyways, we made it to the hotel and we spent the rest of the day at the indoor waterpark, which was fun for a bit. My husband and I decided to spend a part of the evening in the arcade which was really fun. We went to Walmart and Fazoli's and called it a night.
The next day was the big day. We had early access to Cedar Point so we headed to the island and waited for the gates to open. Our first ride was the Raptor. There was no line. I got ready to get on the ride. I sat down and I didn't fit. My butt was too big. The attendant tried to latch the belt, but my belly was too big. He apologized and I had to get off the ride. All of his friends saw. My husband asked if he should get off, but I told him to stay. I attempted to hold back tears while I waited on the exit ramp and watch our group enjoy their first ride of the day.
Once off, I asked my husband to walk with me around the park and try out the test seats which are located at the entrances of rides. Every ride we went to, I was too big. "This ride may not accommodate guests of larger size".
I had to stop several times to cry it out. What was the point of me being at the park if I couldn't fit on any of the rides? Why me? Is this really happening? These were questions I asked myself repeatedly. All I wanted to do was go back to the hotel and cry it out. Why stay at the park just to watch everyone get on the rides and me just sit waiting for them?
I made my decision. My husband called his friends letting them know he was going to drive me back to the hotel. I said I would try and keep myself occupied by going back to the arcade and water park when in reality, all I did was sleep, cry, and mope around.
I was miserable. Absolutely miserable.
I woke up from my nap and called my husband. He said that they were going to come get me for dinner. I was happy that they were going to include me since my day had been ruined.
7 pm rolled by. No call.
8 pm rolled by. No call.
9 pm rolled by. No call.
I called my husband and asked where they were. He said they didn't want to leave the park. It was too much of a big deal for them.
I cried and cried and cried.
I had spent the entire day by myself and they couldn't leave the park and hour early to include me in their day and festivities? My already batter self-esteem crumbled away...
All I thought to myself was "Why leave early to take the fat girl to eat?" "Why should we leave early? It's not our fault she's fat!"
I cried some more. My self-worth was non-existent. I felt so low...so unwanted...so worthless.
My husband tried his best to get someone to come back with him. There were too many people and not enough cars so he couldn't come back by himself. When he eventually made it back to the hotel, I cried myself to sleep in his arms. I wanted to go home.
So as you can see, THAT was a wake up call.
If I ever want to go back to Cedar Point, I will need to make some changes. Positive changes. Healthy changes. Emotional changes. Maybe even friend changes. Who knows?
It was traumatizing. That's all I can say. Please pray for me.