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    SHEELAC49   6,794
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Here we go........


Thursday, July 24, 2014

I'm on a stress busting challenge and I'm not sure how I'm gonna de-stress with a 4 yr old running around giving me the most stress of anything in my life. I'm 52 yrs. old and don't have any business raising a 4 yr old especially when her mother is gonna come back and mess up what I've tried to do with her. Not that I'm getting very far. She is ADHD and I can't keep up with her. I tried to get her into counseling because she was acting out very badly because she was having separation anxiety. Then behaving badly talking back, hitting herself when we put her into the corner, smacking herself when we punished her sitting her on the couch. I'm at the end of my rope with her discipline everything we try to do she turns into games she doesn't get that there not games but punishment. So I figure out the right punishment and that would help take a big stressor off me. I'm not saying she isn't a delight at times if it wasn't for taking care of her when my husband passed away this April I'd of probably fallen apart.
The only other stressor I have is having my adult children living with me. They need to be on their own by now but my son I believe feels he needs to take care of me. Then my daughter is living with me because she is on social security and doesn't make enough to pay rent on these apartments that expect you to practically buy them with the rent. So I can't just throw her out without knowing she can afford it we can't seem to find anything that she can afford.
It's just like my life is not my own. I have no say in what goes on. My therapist says I need to learn to say no that's easier said than done cause I don't say no to anything which I know I shouldn't do but it's hard for me to do that.
So I'm working on destressing my life. How I'm not sure but this is a start.

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SHEELAC49 8/22/2014 9:54AM

    Ignitme you are so right about the adhd/add child being talented and creative. She really imagines things and has a way of figuring things out. I finally got her to a therapist who is willing to work with her without the meds. My son is working a job that doesnt pay enough with paying child support. Theyr hitting him hard since he is finally working. He is getting discouraged since he has little money to do anything with.. He tries to do special stuff for his kids with money and I told him just spend time with them its free and all they want.
I'd just like to get out of this complex. I think they're infected with allergies and keep getting us sick. It just cost too much to be able to move first month and deposit hard to get enough together . It'll work out when its suppose to happen I know. Thanks for invite and encouraging words.


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IGNITEME101 8/21/2014 4:40AM

    Your counselor may be right, ... she may not be right. I have set a time table for when I wlil move out from helping my grown children. One year is the timetable. 2 of my 3 of my children and myself are renting a huge place we can afford together until they can get cars and get on their feet. My sons car was just paid off and died without the possibility of repair. Some councelors have no idea how difficult the economy is today.
Whats right for me may not be right for you. I'm praying!
ps adhd is not a bad child...it's a wonderful talented child trying to find her/his way. Keep up the prayer and you will find the right discipline for the 4 year old, along with her mom. I have 2 with have add/adhd. One sang opera professionally for a year and played lead parts. The other is a very talented song writer, gifted entertainer and cook!



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SHEELAC49 7/25/2014 9:01AM

    Thanks so much for the encouragement and ideas. The walk would help her and I. Give her a time to wear out and me time to exercise. Thanks all for caring sometimes it helps just to know people care and want to help and I have found that out in this community more than any other I have been on .
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RHOOK20047 7/25/2014 8:49AM

    Welcome to SparkPeople. God Bless you. emoticon You have so much on your plate, losing your husband, raising a challenged granddaughter, and all the other stressors you have in your life. It can seem over whelming. Just take one day at a time and trust in the Lord to give you the strength you need to get through each day. emoticon You may need your kids more than you realize now at this time, but encourage them to get out on their own if you think that is best. I know a parent wants to see their kids success. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. I have found that changing things up is the way to start weight loss. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon

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DWROBERGE 7/24/2014 11:43PM

    Keep focused for success.

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DEB62BIE62 7/24/2014 9:03PM

    So glad that you are trying to de-stress your life. You certainly have a tough one. I know that life is not always easy, but just hang in there, and try to find some time to yourself. A bubble bath, a walk--maybe you could take your little granddaughter to a park and walk as a reward for good behavior. (Nature walk - let her take a bag to collect stuff.) Give her something to work for.

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