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    STEPH-KNEE   73,527
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60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
So Close, Yet So Far Away!

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Thursday, July 24, 2014



Since starting my "new plan" that I mentioned in my last blog, I have been weighing daily. I know I have talked many times about needing to break my daily weighing habit, because it typically makes me crazy! I let the scale affect my mood and sometimes even affect my progress (or lack thereof) for the entire day. But when I started this plan, I really wanted to document daily weigh ins. I wanted to see the daily fluctuations, specifically after my "carb nite" and find out long it would take for that fluctuation to go away. I have completed day 17, and have tracked my weight each day. The only REAL weigh in I document here on Spark is each Wednesday. I will say I have done a good job of not letting the weigh ins affect me, and I have found the fluctuations actually very interesting and informative.

But this morning when I got on the scale for my "official weigh in", I would lie if I said I wasn't a little disappointed. I was glad to see I had lost some weight this week... and even the fact it was only .8 pounds didn't bother me THAT much... It was that I was a mere .4 pounds away from claiming my 90 pounds lost trophy! I have been so close to that trophy several times, and then I always start eating my way back in the other direction. I hit 85 down in September, and here I am still fighting for that 90 pound mark! There was a part of me that really really wanted to claim it today, but it wasn't meant to be. Not only that, but today was my "carb nite" which means with the fluctuations I will be even farther away tomorrow. But I am still interested to see how this program will work, and I am just going to do what I gotta do. Time will tell if it is beneficial for me or not.

I will say the good thing to come out of this is I realized how much I really, really want that trophy! I really do care about my weight loss and hitting my goals. All the other times I got down around 185, I would start back pedaling. I'd get scared, sabotage, and start overeating. But this time I find myself wanting to push that much harder to get to where I want to go. I have so many things that are a stones throw away: 90 pounds down, 170's for the first time, Disneyland goal (177), 100 pounds lost, I mean really... they are all RIGHT THERE. But they won't come to me, I have to work hard and come to them... and I am finally feeling like I DESERVE to get there. I really believe so much of this journey is emotional/mental. The physical (eat better, exercise) really is nothing compared to this emotional journey that we are on. The mind games, the self sabotage, those nagging voices in our head that tell us we will fail... all of that is what makes this journey so hard! But each day that we don't quit we are showing those mean voices who is boss! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSRIGS1 8/13/2014 6:10PM

    Way to GO Steph-Knee! You GOT this!

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CORNERKICK 8/5/2014 1:14AM

  emoticon emoticon

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 7/31/2014 7:06AM

    See you DID IT...

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MAYBER 7/30/2014 11:36PM

    Inspiration Dedication Determination Motivation Willpower You can do it
emoticon

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SIMONEKP 7/30/2014 1:49PM

    I know what you mean, I've been waiting for 90 since like March.

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JAB2010 7/29/2014 10:37AM

    You will make it! emoticon


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PJB145 7/28/2014 1:17AM

    You will get there because you not only WANT it but you are willing to WORK to get it. Good luck, I am rooting for you.

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RENATA144 7/27/2014 11:52PM

  You can succeed but please stop stressing yourself out so much.

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DAWNDMOORE40 7/27/2014 7:56PM

    emoticon You can do this! Life throws us emotional curves at times, but I see you know what your goals and your are determined to get there! emoticon We are all in this together and we support one another and that is what makes this program a success! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BAHAMAMARG 7/27/2014 12:18PM

    Without a doubt - the emotional side is the hardest part! You are so close but it certainly sounds like you will get there. My loss is frustratingly slow too - but we just need to keep going!

I just got my 1000 fitness minutes trophy for the month - isn't it great when they pop out at you!!

emoticon emoticon



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CHOOSETHERESULT 7/27/2014 10:17AM

    You ROCK. You will make it.

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GLOBEE77 7/27/2014 9:35AM

    Inspiring to me to read your posts.

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SUEARNOLD1 7/26/2014 11:21PM

    You can do it!

Keep at it and don't give up!

emoticon

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PHATNOMO11 7/26/2014 9:15PM

    I believe in you. You can and will do it!

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TWIRLNYC 7/26/2014 8:47PM

    Awesome job! I'm sue 90 will happen next Wednesday!

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EMMACORY 7/26/2014 8:37PM

    emoticon Looking forward to celebrating with you next week. You will get to your goal! emoticon

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 7/26/2014 7:35PM

    Great post

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TIMEHASCOME56 7/26/2014 2:24PM

    emoticon , and emoticon emoticon emoticon if we just emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 7/26/2014 1:18PM

    You've nailed this journey on all counts, dear heart. *Hugs* I am so proud of your determination and the realization that the challenge is in the heart and mind. Once we make those "clicks" then nothing can stop us. Consistency is the key, so keep up your AWE~some success. I have every confidence that emoticon to realize each and every one of your emoticon dreams. emoticon BB~ emoticon

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WALLINMW 7/26/2014 11:01AM

  One day, one pound at a time!

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DTWHITE1 7/26/2014 6:06AM

  Thank you, I really needed to know someone else is going through what I go through. Getting scared when things are going well, like weight coming off in first three weeks, then that negative voice saying I am going to fail. I didn't know anyone else had similar self sabotage, so thanks for making me not feel so alone! Got to work on the mini goals and they will lead to the larger ones and those trophy's you are working so hard to get! You can do it!!!!!

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KIM22211 7/26/2014 1:23AM

    you do deserve it and this is so much more emotional this journey than anything else!!!!

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CICELY360 7/25/2014 11:38PM

  good blog

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ROCKYCPA 7/25/2014 10:52PM

    emoticon

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DIANNEMT 7/25/2014 8:16PM

    Rooting for you!!

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CHARTHESTAR 7/25/2014 8:10PM

    You Will get there this time.
I am glad to be part of your journey and success!

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BLPRETTYGIRL1 7/25/2014 7:50PM

    emoticon

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JERICHO1991 7/25/2014 6:00PM

    90 going down. Hopefully next weigh-in.

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PATRICIAANN46 7/25/2014 5:58PM

  emoticon YOU are doing a GREAT job!!!

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SHERYLP461 7/25/2014 5:56PM

    You will make it, everything in it's own time!

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SHOAPIE 7/25/2014 5:46PM

    emoticon

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IDICEM 7/25/2014 5:07PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 7/25/2014 4:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TINY67 7/25/2014 3:29PM

    emoticon

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JUSGETTENBY42 7/25/2014 2:46PM

    emoticon

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LIVELYGIRL2 7/25/2014 1:57PM

  you truly are getting better sand better and improved. Your whole mindset is different. Eventually you will arrive where you want to be.

Yesterday I was watching the Tour De France. Just think of the ones who don't get in at the first 10-15. But they all do this long, long, unbelievable trip , for days on end, up and down mountains. Oh my gosh, just the ability to finish and do it is astonishing. To me to do this, when all those others don't get tons of recognition... Wow, they are the cream of the crop and best in the world.

You too are in the group that has the guts to participate ands continue on. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LCRUMLEY81 7/25/2014 1:54PM

  Great Job

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NEPTUNE1939 7/25/2014 1:39PM

    emoticon

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KIPSTER52 7/25/2014 1:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JSEATTLE 7/25/2014 12:39PM

  You ABSOLUTELY DESERVE to get there!! Keep on going, you are an inspiration to me!!

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NONNAOF2 7/25/2014 12:28PM

  I wish losing weight was an easy thing to do, it really involves a lot of thought and planning. Every once in a while, step back and take a breath, then give yourself a big pat on the back. You are putting your all into it, good job!! :-)

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TRAILBLAZER6 7/25/2014 12:02PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SDEHNKE 7/25/2014 11:56AM

    emoticon We're all pulling for you!

Suellen


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STEVIEBEE569 7/25/2014 9:30AM

    emoticon emoticon

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4_MY_GIRLZ_N_ME 7/25/2014 8:50AM

    Just keep going, Just keep going, Just keep going!

I know you can! I know you can! I know you can!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHARON7464 7/25/2014 8:19AM

    Your blog was reminding me of a Seinfeld episode, but the ultimate theme in both is that only you, or any of us, can make the conscious decisions- whether it's to put down the fork, say no to dessert, convince ourselves to workout... What ever it is. You will absolutely get the 90 pounds lost, the trip to Disney. And the 100 pound award because you WANT to do it.

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PENOWOK 7/25/2014 7:32AM

    You CAN and WILL break that cycle, Steph. Your daily weigh-ins are more for information than anything else. Now you have more data, more information and you CAN break this cycle!

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CARRIELYN56 7/25/2014 7:02AM

    emoticon

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G33K10V3 7/25/2014 6:43AM

    You are in it to win it!! You can do it!! I've still got like 70 pounds to go at least before I'm where I want to be and I've already lost 143 pounds BUT, dang, I have half of what I've already lost left to lose and it looms over me.
Sometimes I feel very close to my goal knowing that I am 2/3 of the weigh (pun intended) there and sometimes I feel like I'm NEVER going to be able to do it.
I'm so proud of how far you've come and I know that you WILL reach your goals!!
Best to you ALWAYS!!

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BESSHAILE 7/25/2014 6:31AM

    How well I remember the week before my last big goal. And the mere ounces away I was from it. And how hard it was to be a big girl.

LOL. And I remember how elated I was when I reached that goal and how quickly I forgot the previous week's disappointment.

you go girl.

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