Monday, July 21, 2014
I love to watch shows that have an ongoing plot line and I am someone who is probably guilty of watching too much tv. I don't watch it for something to do because I am bored or as a mindless thing to do. I watch tv for the same reason I like to read a good book, watch my husband play a story line video game, people watching or to go see a play. I am interested and intrigued by the human condition. Everyone has a past, a story, a purpose. I love exploring that and learning what people's story is. This intrigue is the entire reason my bachelor's degree is in Communication. These stories also teach me about myself and at times, I get very philosophical. Tonight, is one of those nights.
I am a teacher who is on summer break. I have a little bit of freedom and time on my hands at the moment. I have been binge watching Private Practice on Netflix when my son is sleeping. Up until the past week, I had not seen the last two seasons. I began watching when it spun off from Grey's Anatomy but stopped during season 5. So this summer I have been catching up. The issues that were dealt with in this season have got my mind going.
I have a story and I have issues. Just like everyone else. I have come to a point in my life where I am preferring to be real instead of perfect because maybe, just maybe by being real, I can help someone else out. Also, it is a lot less stress on my perfectionist, people pleasing personality. During Season 5 of Private Practice, Amelia struggle with a drug addiction, goes to AA and becomes sober. These events in the character's life have me thinking about myself. I have an addiction. It isn't one that is readily recognized and it isn't an illegal substance. Regardless, it is an addiction. Hi! My name is Mel and I am a sugar addict.
I feel like this addiction to sugar can be compared to a drug addict. It isn't illegal and I don't necessarily get high off of it but it can be just as detrimental to my health. I have slipped back into my old habits with this pregnancy. I am wanting to eat out more, eat junk, and eat sugar. This baby has made me crave sugar or at least feel like I do. I tracked what I ate this week and found that I was eating an extraordinary amount of sugar. I have been feeling depressed, tired, and irritable again. I have had low energy and motivation again. These were all my symptoms from when I first started overcoming my addiction. All of this, is classic textbook for when an addict starts to slip. I am dealing with a transition right now, which has lead to the regression.
Admitting you have a problem is your first step to recovery right? Well, here I am back working towards day one as a sugar addict. I have slipped in other areas of my life too as a result. I haven't been spending time with God and I haven't worked out in 2 weeks. All of this is classic for an addiction. What I am saying is, sugar addiction is real. I need to deal with this addiction before it becomes a problem for my health, my husband and my children. I have felt extremely convicted about taking better care of myself the past two days. So now it is time. I am here, I am back and I am confessing. Blogging is my AA meeting. I am fighting Sugar addiction. So again Hi, I am Mel and I am a sugar addict. 0 days sober.