Sunday, July 20, 2014
Last night my fiance wanted a late night snack so we agreed to go out and get one. As we're pulling out of our parking lot we see something in the middle of the road. It's a man laying in the middle of the road, it didn't look like he was breathing, my fiance shook him, nudged him, tried to wake him, but he was unmoving. So I called 911 I explained the situation and they sent a fire truck first. We were sitting in our truck with the headlights on and my fiance was by the guy in the road, so they stop just 5 feet short of his body and try to wake him too. Shaking him hard and saying SIR! WAKE UP! SIR! and all of a sudden he jumps up like he's going to fight them and starts screaming. They tell him to calm down and he lays back down.
He is screaming "what the hell do you want!? I'm trying to do this right! Give me a damn gun so I can do this!" the firemen ask "do you know that you're in the middle of the street?" He still screaming says "of course I know I'm not stupid, I want to die! Now go away so I can do this right!" and they reply "well sir you know you're in the middle of the street and we can't leave you here." He starts screaming again about how he was in Vietnam and he killed people and he can't live like this anymore and he is ready to die. That they don't have any right to be bothering him and he doesn't know why they are there. I don't know why but I got really emotional. His voice was so angry and sad at the same time. Then he stood up and said he was done with this, he said "If I don't do it here tonight I'm going to do it tomorrow so I'm just going home." Then the ambulance showed up and they kept blocking him from running away. The paramedic said "Because of what you said here tonight we can't let you go home, you understand? If anything happened to you we would be responsible." He said "then why the hell are you here? I want to die, you don't know what I went through in vietnam!" the fireman responded "So you want to lay here on the ground and possibly a car with a family and kids runs you over-" the stranger cuts him off "Yes that's what I want!" the fireman continues "You want that on their heads? on their conscience for ever?" the stranger takes a moment to reply and says again "You don't know what happened over there! You have no idea!" There's now four all together between paramedics and firemen. They all tell him that they don't, that they are grateful for his sacrifice to allow them to have their jobs and stuff.
He keeps saying that he is just going to go home, he says he has an appointment with the VA and the mental health place in town, that they need to just take him home. they tell him, he has two options. Go to the hospital and go to jail. He refuses both. Then a police officer shows up and he says "I'm not going to jail, take me to the hospital." I don't know why but I'm fighting tears this entire time. He finally gets in the ambulance still cursing and yelling about needed to turn his A/C down in his house.
A fireman walks over to our truck and says that if we had not been standing by him they would have ran him over, they didn't see him. They all left and we left too. All I kept thinking is that this is someones dad, or grandpa, doesn't he have friends or family? Why does he feel so alone? So angry? I just wanted to tell him that it doesn't need to be this way. My fiance wanted to tell him that if he needs a friend, that he has one. I just feel so upset. I know Im too soft, but it is horrible.
I posted to facebook about this and my family replied that the helpless and sad feeling that I got is exactly how they feel when I say I want to disappear and give up on everything. It made me realize the impact one person can have. Although people don't know my entire story I have felt the way that man felt. I don't know his story, but I sure wish I could do something to let him know how important he is to the world. How much this moment changed me.