Friday, July 18, 2014
I have really been struggling lately. I think I have hit that spot where normally in the past I have given up. Things get harder, everything feels like it is moving too slow, too much work, I feel overwhelmed, etc... So I end up slipping here and there and then sooner or later I just give up all together.
But not this time. This time I am not giving up!
I won't ever be perfect. I will have bad days. But that doesn't mean it is over. A new day will come and today I will do better then yesterday.
I need to discover why I binge. Why sometimes my stomach is a bottomless pit where nothing can fill it.
I also think my meds still are not where they should be. I am still having so much anxiety. But then I also heard that medication can't cure anxiety it is only supposed to make it more manageable which it is. I also might just need to give it more time to build up in my system.
Today i was going to take a walk but I just didn't want to go outside. I felt all panicky. I couldn't relax. I did a workout on the wii which kicked my butt so atleast I still worked out but I just hate that.
I will talk to my therapist about that Wednesday.
Right now my goal is to manage my diabetes still. And I want to hit Onederland so badly! I am so close. I would ideally love to hit it by Sept 1. But I am ok with hitting it by my birthday Sept 22. I can do it!!