Thursday, July 17, 2014
Today I got on the scale for the first time in about 3 weeks and I have gained 8 pounds!!!
I knew vacation I had let things go and since returning home I have found it very difficult to get back on track.
I had assumed maybe I had gained 2 or 3 pounds, but EIGHT!!!
So, all games end today and all the relunctance to cook and eat healthy and make better choices when deciding what to eat.
It all has gotten out of hand and this isnt the first time and this wont be the last time that I find myself here, in this place, of anger and self blame.
It is just time to stop the nonsense, stop the insanity and stop the weight gain.
No, I cannot walk for health right now, that bothers me deeply, but due to the problems, unresolved with my foot, I cant chance making it worse.
But, I can lift weights, I can use the elliptical, I can find other ways to exercise and why am I not????
Well, its time to stop making excuses.
So, today I get back to reality and had to take a good long hard look at myself and say ok enough is enough.
I also said to myself, "start right now, and decide, continue bad behavior, continue gaining, stop even trying or, live and find your way back and be healthy again".
I chose happiness, and believe me, happiness you find in the good taste of a cheeseburger or a brownie isnt the happiness I speak of.
It is the happiness you find, when you can look at yourself in the mirror and not feel disappointed, not feel hatred and heart break for your own failures.
I want that feeling back again.
I have heard it said, nothing tastes as good as weight loss feels.
Well, I will let you know how good weight loss feels when I actually begin to lose this weight once again, but, Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels.
Nothing tastes as good or gives you as much pleasure, as seeing results.
I start today.
It is a long road back.
It always is.