lost in a haze without my scale/compass to guide
Sunday, July 13, 2014
In November I started going to a dietitian. It went well, until it didn't and that's when I stopped going. During the process I realized how obsessed I was with the numbers on the scale. So I asked to be weighed in backwards the last few times, knowing in the back of my head I had not kept to the plan as I should have. I knew from the look of the dietitian's face that the numbers reflected that.
When I stopped seeing the dietitian, I also decided to stop going on the scale. I wanted my relationship with my body (an odd term of phrase as am I not in part my body?) to be more about an intuitive feeling of how I feel versus a judgement of a number.
It has been a wild ride.
Numbers are quantitative measures to hold one accountable. They are the easy way out. Simply step right up, take a number and find out if you've been good or naughty. The intuitive way, paying attention to how I feel, is time consuming. It takes care and patience.
For the most part I feel good. I am not obsessed.
But I'm morphing back to my previous size. I actually didn't realize until I saw a picture of myself and wondered when my face had returned to being round.
And that's the catch. One cannot simply put away the scale and just ignore healthful living, one must embrace the qualitative. That means eating mindfully. And still keeping up a healthy lifestyle but with more of a more healthful/mindful approach of eating something because it makes one feel good and being held accountable by one's own feeling and not by a digital device.
Time to lift the fog. And get back to preparing dinners at the start of the week. but without the weighing. Rather, with getting to know myself better.
This initiative was undertaken after reading: Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.