Thursday, July 10, 2014
It's surprisingly helpful to read my old blog entries. I'd forgotten some of the granular details of my first, very successful foray into wellness with SP. It's a reminder that there were setbacks and that it didn't go as planned. Also a reminder what wonderful support I got from my spark friends. It's a reminder of how each of the little changes actually felt... and they felt good. It never occurred to me those blog posts might be missives to my future self. Interesting.
I embark on a renewed wellness project in a much better position than my first one in 2010. I just finished my dissertation. I have a good job (not the one I want eventually, but great for now). And my mental health is under control -- a diagnosis of bipolar II and successful treatment has given me my life back in so many ways.
While all that good stuff percolated, I let the nutrition/fitness thing go. And then, in the push to finish the diss, I went all out with treating myself to any and all comfort foods. It's a wonder the poor nutrition didn't scuttle my work. Anyhow, now is the time to get back to feeling good physically and feeling good about my body. Feeling good IN my body. I've cracked 160, sadly... and am a hair's breadth from an "obese" BMI. And I can recognize some of the discomforts I felt when I was at this weight before, including my knees being unhappy. I'm tired of ill-fitting clothes, of disliking how I look, of feeling winded climbing stairs, of my knees creaking. I miss my defined biceps and delts -- they felt and looked so great. I miss being proud of myself (in this sector of life... I'm super proud of finishing the diss). I miss being energetic. I miss feeling like I'm in control of myself and my health.
So: this is day two of Project Wellness 2014. A two-day streak on all my daily targets. Must remember, at the same time, that every day is day one.