My body seems to be starting another cycle of TOM. Before the last one even fully ended! It was almost gone and I was feeling normal again... and now all the sudden it has gotten heavy, and I'm cramping again and my back hurts. And as yesterdays post will attest, I'm also not 100% emotionally stable either. I don't know what's going on. I've been on the same birth control pill for a bout 5 months and this is the first time this has happened. Guess it's time to send the dr an email and ask what I should do.
It wasn't until later this evening that the cramping and back pain set in and let me know my body seems to be going through round 2. Until then I didn't really know what was going on to cause my weird moods and things. Now that I've figured it out, the last couple days make a lot more sense!
Food has not been good today. I did fine for breakfast, but then dh asked if I was interested in Mexican. I could have said no and he wouldn't have been upset, but I did not. I said yes. And then ATE Mexican. Too much of it. We rarely eat Mexican and I love it, so I did some serious indulging. I don't feel TOO badly about it though. If I had done that at, say, McDonald's, somewhere I can eat anytime, I'd be pretty irate with myself. But dh normally doesn't want to eat Mexican, so this was a rare treat. I don't mean to try to justify it, cause there is no justification for eating that much food, I'm just choosing not to beat myself up about it.
Other than that, food has been alright. I had a relatively healthy breakfast sandwich and some rice cakes when I got hungry after we got home. And I just ate a 100 cal pack of almonds. It's not stellar, but it could be worse. I'm WAY too low on produce today, though. I've barely had any. And not enough water, either. Wow... I didn't realize just how off today has been until now!
On the bright side, though, I did go to therapy. We started talking about my eating issues, but we didn't make a ton of headway because she was asking a lot of background questions about things we had never talked about. Her one suggestion was to keep a notebook handy, and set a timer and write for 15 minutes before I let myself binge. She said if I finish writing and still want to eat, to go ahead. But to delay it by 15 minutes, and just write about whatever is in my head. I'm usually pretty stubborn and don't want to do what the therapist tells me to, but this time I'm really going to try to work with her and do what she says. It can't hurt to try, and if writing for 15 minutes could save me from even 25% of my binges, that would be huge. So before bed tonight I'm going to get a notebook and pen and have it handy, in case I wake up and want to eat.
I admit I'm not feeling great tonight, but I'm making plans to keep pushing ahead. I survived eating well and working out during TOM when it happened last week, so I can do it again this week. Which means starting with a trip to the community center for a workout tomorrow. I'll listen to my body and take it easier if my back is still hurting badly, but I do hope to go and get in a workout. I know it will make me feel better, physically and mentally.
And also very important... NO EATING OUT TOMORROW! That is my downfall every time. We grocery shopped, so we have plenty of food, and I have a menu planned out. It won't even take that much effort to cook. I just gotta do it, and not make an excuse to go get fast food.
Tomorrow is also the next in the 3 part series seminar thingy about eating healthy on a budget. My friend and I are going to that tomorrow evening. I'm looking forward to it and hoping I learn something helpful.
For now I'm going to take a muscle relaxer for my back, and lay down with my book and chill. I slept fairly well last night, so hopefully I will tonight also. Then up and at 'em tomorrow, working to erase these bad few days.
Hope everyone has had a great Thursday!