Thursday, July 10, 2014
Yesterday I went to the therapist and it was a really good session. We talked about how I am not very assertive and how I need to be. How because I'm not I tend to let things bubble up & take over my mind as I obsesses over them. So something small becomes something huge because I am not facing it.
She explained that I have this backpack of rocks that I am carrying around. Each rock is a weight of something bad or uncomfortable that I am not letting go of or or not facing. And it is heavy and it takes me out of the moment. I can't focus on today if I am focused on all of this other crap that is so heavy and in my way.
And everytime I take care of an issue, that weight is lifted and I have more room to focus on my real issues and big problems. I also learn how to deal with issues so that it is easier and in the future I won't put the rock in my bag but just deal with it and move on.
So I have to work on being more assertive! She also wants me to find a way to volunteer at the cat shelter. She also told me I should see my doctor about upping my meds. I was planning on going today but forgot they are closed on Thursdays so tomorrow it is.
This morning I woke up at 4am again...fun! Idk why this keeps happening but it sucks. I wake up and can not go back to sleep for anything. Maybe I am drinking too much water before bed. I will try to cut back so close to bedtime and see if that keeps me asleep longer.
I went for a nice long walk today...2 miles! I decided to just push myself and up it. It went really well. I always start off so rough but as I go along my body adjusts and I am not so anxious, then it is easier.
My FBS was 128 this morning. Yesterday after lunch/before dinner it was the lowest yet at 118. I am feeling quite positive about it all.