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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   141,579
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My Mistake


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Wednesday, July 09, 2014



I made a mistake, but I'm glad I did because I learned from it!

When I began my journey back in 2012, I got my starting weigh in, and then I literally threw my scale in the trash. I'm not a wasteful person, but I knew that getting rid of the scale was the right thing for me. I know its not for everyone, but tossing the scale out made it a lot easier for me to focus on my health as opposed to obsessing about my weight.

Some people can get on the scale once a week or once a month (or even every day) and then get on with their lives. Not me, unfortunately. When I get on the scale, bad things happen. I can weigh myself and discover I've lost 5 pounds in one week, and then get totally derailed. I think "oh, I've lost so much weight, I am going to reward myself." And then I start to over eat, and I undo all my hard work. Or I'll weigh myself and find out that I've gained a pound or two. That propels me into an all out binge, to console myself. And no matter what, when I own a scale, I tend to weigh myself a lot. A whole lot...like several times a day. Its just not healthy!

So when I got rid of my scale in 2012, I felt free! And not having a scale made it so much easier for me to make my journey all about health and self improvement. I knew that if I ate right, tracked my food, measured my portions, drank my water and worked out....I'd lose weight. And thats what I did. I made it a challenge to myself to make each day as healthy as possible. Even though I didn't have a scale, I could tell I was losing weight because I was going down in clothing sizes. But even more importantly, I could tell I was getting healthier, and that was so amazing! I'd been obese and unhealthy for a long time, and I'd gotten used to always being tired and achy. But after 6 months of eating right and exercising, I felt like a new person. I decided it was time to weigh myself again, but since I didn't have a scale anymore, I had to do it on the Wii Fit. I was so shocked and thrilled to discover that I'd lost 71 lbs....and I was quite happy to put the Wii Fit away again. I didn't plan to weigh myself again anytime soon.



But as time went on, I started to notice that my clothes weren't getting looser anymore. I was still working out and eating right, but my progress had completely stopped. I know plateaus are normal, so I tried to hang in there until it ended. But it got frustrating, and I started to slack off a little bit. I had times when I'd go a few days without working out at all. Or I'd have binges. Then I could tell that I'd gained weight back, and I'd renew my resolve to get on track. It was just a vicious circle, and I was stuck in it for a year! I eventually ended up gaining back 36 of the 71 lbs I had lost.

A few of my Sparkfriends were suggesting that maybe I should quit being so stubborn, and go ahead and get a new scale. I resisted for a while, but in May I finally gave in. I got a scale, and committed to weekly weigh ins. I had high hopes that this would be what it took to get me back on track for good. But....I was wrong!



After just a couple of Monday morning weigh ins, I realized that getting a scale was a mistake for me. I was starting to obsess about it. I was able to stay off the scale except for my scheduled Monday weigh in, but I THOUGHT about the scale all the time. You might think that having the scale constantly on my mind would keep me from overeating, but it didn't. All it did was stress me out. So after just a month, I decided to stop weighing myself. No more scale for me! I didn't throw it out this time, though. I just took the batteries out, and then put it in a closet. Its just a tool, and someday I will use it again.

But not now. For now, I am back to focusing on my health and on NSV's, and it is working. I am finally back on track and feeling great. For the past 14 days, I have not missed a scheduled workout. I have been drinking my water, and weighing and measuring my food. I haven't been perfect, but I am still proud of how well I've been doing. I re-found my motivation! I knew it was there somewhere, I just had to keep looking for it.

Even though buying a scale was a mistake for me, its a mistake that I'm glad I made, because it reminded me that I am more than a number, and that being healthy is what is most important. For me, this journey isn't about being a certain weight or clothing size. Its about being as healthy as I can.



I had a non scale victory a few nights ago. It was late and I was having trouble falling asleep. I ended up in the kitchen, ready to binge. I got started eating....but I was able to stop myself. Usually, my binges are around two thousand (or more) calories. But this time, I was able to stop after just 400 calories. I stopped mid bite and asked myself "Do you want to be healthy or not?" The answer was "Yes, I do want to be healthy!" And then I proved it by dumping out the rest of the food. I wrote in my journal instead of eating anymore.

I'm never going to be perfect, and I know there will be times when I mess up and get off track. But I'm determined to never give up on myself. I am strong and I am going to keep getting stronger, healthier and better. I will always do my best to be my own hero.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WHITEANGEL4 12/7/2014 1:13AM

    Pixie love the blog. We all have to adjust to our personal needs

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GRAMPIAN 11/14/2014 11:13AM

  emoticon Well said!

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AURIANNE67 9/15/2014 12:30PM

    emoticon

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CECELW 9/13/2014 9:06AM

    The scale seems to be someone's best friend, who someone's worst nightmare! I gain and lose all the time. Now I just go by how my clothes fit. We all have our best ways of gauging our progress. I love your blog Pixie. Your so genuine and real!
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~KINDREDSPIRIT~ 8/31/2014 4:58PM

    You know Pixie, I love this blog because it has renewed my faith in what has been going on for me. I lost 1.5 pounds until I lost 9 pounds starting back at SP. Then I got sick with diverticulitis, a kidney stone and UTI. I am still struggling with the diverticulitis and now my feet are swelling three weeks later, BUT I hung on despite this. Although my scale showed no loss, I did two things:

1) Read Friends with the Scale by Linda Spangle and learned that the scale is just a tool - it doesn't register everything because of fluctuations with our body and that book saved me (cause, like you, I am very affected by the scale)

and,

2) Resorted to calculating my measurements which indicated a loss (which I didn't need to even do because again, like you, I could tell I was losing)

Now the past few days I was eating more than I generally have been. I did not go outside my calorie range, but knew it was higher than ever before.

Your blog has resumed my commitment to continue despite these interruptions because I can do it.

thank you

barbara

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REALTYLADYLISA 8/6/2014 7:11PM

    Good to find what works for YOU! Keep up the healthy life!

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MRSRIGS1 8/5/2014 3:18PM

    Well done Pixie!

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ANGELN325 7/29/2014 5:11PM

    Great blog. We all have to do what works for us.

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MZANGELFACE 7/22/2014 9:13PM

    Great post! More important, great job! emoticon

Don't let something like a scale discourage you! emoticon

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KMRJPR 7/21/2014 12:55AM

    Good for you!

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SOPHINEZ 7/19/2014 12:10PM

    emoticon
Wow! This is one if the best "personal quest" blogs out there!
Thank you for being so brave and sharing your struggles. I am sure you are aware that you are not alone in these scale and measurement concerns. Measuring your happiness and success in how you feel, with your renewed energy, less aches and pains is where it is at!

Thank you for further inspiring me!!

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EGMINGA 7/17/2014 1:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AMYSNEWSPARK 7/16/2014 3:25PM

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FRABBIT 7/16/2014 1:32PM

  Great blog and way to go on stopping the binge. You are so inspiring!

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SASSYTHING52 7/15/2014 9:50PM

    emoticon its soooo hard finding where u need to be

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CAROLJ35 7/15/2014 9:01PM

    Very interesting! I need the scales and I know it because if I don't get on them I gain constantly.
More power to those who do better without them!!!

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JANAYA2424 7/15/2014 8:38AM

    emoticon

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LYNETTEMOM 7/14/2014 11:45PM

    I weigh myself daily because the scale is simply one of the tools that help me with the journey to better health. Each person must find what works for them

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BECKY0111 7/14/2014 11:28PM

    thank you so much for this blog. i got rid of my scale years ago. not only did it take up space, but it took up space in my head too. i measure my weight loss by the fit of my clothes.
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DS9KIE 7/14/2014 8:28PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JSPIN74 7/14/2014 12:59PM

    emoticon

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HYATTI1 7/14/2014 12:28AM

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CORNERKICK 7/13/2014 8:36PM

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ANGELCITYGAL 7/13/2014 6:38PM

    So much good content in this blog! Thank you very much. And I really cheered for you stopping the binge. What a victory! emoticon emoticon

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LIONESS822 7/13/2014 1:49PM

    emoticon I love reading your blogs! I swear you are writing directly to me or are inside my brain... lol You are Awesome & should be very very proud of all of your victories that you have had both on the scale & off! I am very proud of you & am very happy to call you friend!
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DAWNDMOORE40 7/13/2014 1:37PM

    emoticon I have a scale, but I did not weigh myself for a year later and realized that was actually a victory because I had maintained the same weight I was a year ago! Your right! Who needs a scale to define what we feel like or how we look? emoticon emoticon way of looking at your weight loss! emoticon emoticon

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RENATA144 7/13/2014 11:10AM

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SCOUTMOM715 7/13/2014 10:02AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LOLAJO54 7/12/2014 11:16PM

    Everyone has to find what works for them
-you not weighing works for you

go for it ...
I like the loose clothes thing the best too..

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2BDYNAMIC 7/12/2014 10:22PM

    Like the rest of your fans here ........... LOVE it! ............ (I feel quite the same about those scales and you cracked me up when you said you threw in the trash!!! emoticon ...... emoticon on the popular blog too!!!! emoticon

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PHATNOMO11 7/12/2014 9:57PM

    emoticon

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PJB149 7/12/2014 7:30PM

    emoticon It is about what works best for you. Always was, always will be. I wish you continued success. emoticon

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CARRIELYN56 7/12/2014 5:55PM

    emoticon

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IMEMINE1 7/12/2014 5:12PM

    emoticon You have to do what works for you. emoticon on doing the right thing for you! Good luck!! emoticon

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CHANGING-TURTLE 7/12/2014 2:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I too have that problem of rewarding myself with food when the scale says I have done good. I am going to only weigh myself every 3 months when I have to see my doctor. I binged yesterday on cake and chips but did not beat myself up for it just got right back on track today!!!
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BOSTONBLUESGIRL 7/12/2014 12:23PM

    I am the same way when it comes to the scale. I allow it to determine my self-worth and that is NOT healthy. Many very healthy people often say that using your clothes, energy level and other methods can be good gauges as far as how you are doing health-wise. If your pants are too tight, well, that's going to tell you something just like if you notice your clothes fitting more loosely. I believe everyone is different and for some, using the scale works and is motivational. For others, it's not that way. You have to do what is right for you.

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ZMADAME 7/12/2014 12:01PM

    emoticon Thank you for sharing.

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MARCELA_OLEGA 7/12/2014 8:31AM

    I think it is not about the scale but just not eating late at night, you know that eating after 8pm your body almost does not burn energy, in other words, your food intake will convert itself into body mass....

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TIMEHASCOME56 7/12/2014 8:28AM

    THIS IS TOTALLY emoticon .

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AJDOVER1 7/11/2014 11:50PM

    You know yourself very well. Buying the scale was part of your learning process!
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GRACED777 7/11/2014 10:41PM

    When I start obsessing about the scale, I have to ignore it for awhile also. Thanks for sharing what works for you. It is easy for me to obsess about how I look as well. I am still working on getting right attitudes!

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LUVS2BIKE101 7/11/2014 8:58PM

    emoticon The scale does not measure success. Keep Sparking!

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FANNYMANSON 7/11/2014 4:34PM

    Good for you! Work to be healthy. Work to be the best You that you can be. Best wishes for your progress!

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SPARKFRAN514 7/11/2014 4:03PM

    off to take a look at my plan as i type with chocolate spread on my fingers bought it on Wed and its over half gone even tried it on a frozen banana treat . read your and Gloria"s blog and going to sit my self down after I wash my hands and toss the half jar of Chocolate spread like you i don't like to waste money but need to mind my waist more emoticon need to learn to be my own hero. off we go hand in hand to our own end zone . according to all the ads i should have reached my goal weight one year ago . but i am still here and have not given up fallen but not given up thanks for push to get myself going we will do it it will just take time
my quote its my Journey and no ones else's and I will do it
you tossed your scales I tossing the calendar and just hiking along one day at a time see you along the trail emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAYBER 7/11/2014 3:46PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BRENDA_G50 7/11/2014 11:45AM

    I'm with you on your decision to "lose the scale emoticon ," (my new WW scales quit working right anyway!!! After I spent that much money on it, let's just say I'm a little PO'd about it and call it a day emoticon ). It still gives the weight, but, not all the other bells and whistles that I paid for...like BMI, Water Weight, etc., stupid scales don't know what I'm REALLY made of anyway!!! It just likes to spit out a number at me and try to ruin my day!!! emoticon I HATE when that happens!!! emoticon

Pixie, as long as you stay true to yourself, that's all that matters anyway! No one is perfect by any means and at least you have found out what works for you and what doesn't. Just do your best and know that your SparkFriends are behind you 100%. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PANDABEAR42 7/11/2014 11:45AM

    Love your blog. you are an inspiration to me. i seem to do a lot like you do. i've been weighing myself every morning and i keep loosing and gaining the same 3 pounds. i'm in the rut and need to get out. i love your words and i'm going to try what you have written. Thank You for being an inspiration to me. Oh, the best advise is the night snack. i must remember doing other things rather that eating. i've been know to raid the fridge. emoticon emoticon would love you as a friend and motivator. sue

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JANET552 7/11/2014 10:44AM

    I'm glad you've found what works for you and way to go on stopping the binge!! Keep pushing -- you can do it!

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RAINBOWMF 7/11/2014 9:50AM

    You have to do what's best for you.

I have to find my motivation. Scale or no scale I am not doing well.

I wish you all the best.

Mary

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BKNOCK 7/11/2014 9:10AM

    emoticon

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