A Dreadful Fight
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"
Double Decker Bus
There's a double decker bus driving down the street full of passengers. On the lower level of the bus, everyone's having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing.
On the upper part of the bus, Maynard is in a panic. He's screaming, terrified, and holding onto others as the bus moves along the street.
Finally, someone gets up and walks to the top of the bus to ask what's wrong. Maynard replies, "What's wrong? Well, you'd be screaming too if you didn't have a driver!"
A guy named Bob is traveling by Amtrak with two strangers sitting close to him.
He is trying to sleep, but those guys were speaking loudly for a very long time heavily criticizing George Bush, the war in Iraq, corruption, unemployment, etc.
So Bob, in an attempt to force the guys to stop talking and let him sleep, tells them as a joke, that there is a new total control system developed by the FBI that spies upon all citizens, and there are lots of listening devices everywhere, so that anyone criticizing the government would be severely punished.
This didnít have any effect on those guys, moreover they just laughed at Bob, and carried on and on, saying even more rude jokes about George Bush and the government.
Finally, close to 3:00 am, Bob goes to the restroom, and runs into the train conductor.
Bob asks the conductor to bring him some water and sleeping pills at exactly 3:00 a.m.
He goes back to his place and says loudly into the base of his seat, so that talkative guys could hear him:
"If the FBI director can hear me: could you please bring me a glass of water and some sleeping pills at 3:00 a.m., because there are some idiots here who are speaking too loudly about some political issues and wonít let me sleep."
The guys continue talking.
Exactly at 3:00 am, the door opens and the conductor comes out, and gives Bob the water and some sleeping pills.
The guys are shocked and finally stop talking. Bob is happy and manages to fall asleep.
When he wakes in the morning, the talkative guys are nowhere to be found.
Out of curiosity he asks the conductor about them, (also remembering that there shouldnít have been any stops at night).
The conductor replies that some people in black suits stopped the train and arrested those guys.
Bob is completely shocked and surprised and asks about why he was not arrested.
The conductor answers that he doesnít have a clue but one of the guys in black suits said that the director of the FBI liked Bobís joke about the water and pills.