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    JENS1974   8,569
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My own worst enemy


Wednesday, July 09, 2014

I spend a lot of time thinking...and not acting. During my commute, I spend my time in my car thinking about all the great things I'm going to do, and then I don't. Every night before bed, I set out my workout clothes and plan to get up...and I don't. I look in the mirror in the morning and think about how puffy my face is and how unflattering my haircut is now...and do nothing. I see myself in a picture and get depressed...and still do nothing.

I just don't seem to know how to get past the negative and focus on the positive. I don't know how to make those thoughts change into positive actions. I don't know how to love myself for what I am now...and in doing so, take care of myself.

I'm writing this now just in hopes of getting the thoughts out and in the open. I worry about myself. I worry about diabetes. I've been diagnosed as prediabetic and still do nothing. I'm certain I'm diabetic now...but am afraid to find out. And I do nothing.

So, here I am...returning to Spark. Trying to find my Spark. The one that is inside of me...dim...but there. I want to get past this. I want to be healthy. I want to be a success story! I just don't know how to get there.

Today, I'm going to take 1 small step. I'll restart the Spark program. I have to do this...for me...for my sanity...for my health...for my kids...for my family...for my husband.

I'm here. I'm present. I'm looking for my spark.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

--CHERYL-- 7/12/2014 3:39PM

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Baby steps

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Diabetes check: one phone call to your doc. Your family needs you around for a very long time

emoticon the negative self-talk during your commute; Listen to positive affirmations. Focus. The power to change your thoughts lies within you. Sometimes it's easy to forget

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