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PJH2028
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Pants - Fit … Alice

Thursday, July 03, 2014

For as long as I can remember… that scene in Alice in Wonderland.. You know the one… the bigger smaller bigger smaller scene…. hooked me and is in my image repertoire, haunts me.

I put on the MK orange jeans I bought almost 2 years ago… today
yeah, the ones that had gotten Too Big…. but not SO too big I couldn't wear them
yeah, the ones I considered throwing out
because of the idea of 'not keeping bigger sizes… not leaving the door open'.

Well… Today they are tight.
And, no… they did not just come out of the drier.
F**k
Word

Oh.

So I cried a bit. Leaked, more like it.
Begged myself to forgive myself for the weight gain.
Felt DEEPLY the lost ground
Felt haunted by ALICE
and by memories of the oh-so-many-times… "The Weight" "CAME BACK"

HEY!!!
P!!!

It -- "the weight" -- does NOT just 'come back'
there is no auto pilot
no magic potion

OKAY… You've been in a scary trajectory
and have taken weeks and weeks now "TRYing to rebuild Spark Skills"
("trying is lying" ???)
or something like that.

There are big big issues.
LIFE and SKILLS lacking for LIFE
Processing Difficulties… traffic jam in my heart and head

SPARK FOCUS may help you
Don't get lost in dieting

But DIET if you must… to get the trajectory steady or Onward and Downward

Friends will help you to not forget
the big picture
(no not of your ass… or the tight orange pants)

The BIG PICTURE
Your SOUL
sweetness
and
strength

and Taking Myself Lightly
seriously and sweetly

the decisions will follow
the decisions will lead

gotta go for now

March Skip Stroll Swim
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