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Don't Panic

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

ahh.ha.
This is not about the history.
This is about NOW.
And This is about ME. Moi.

I've been in a panic. Accellerating.
Life circumstances. Undercurrents becoming main narratives.
I maintained a wt loss of 80 lbs for over a year.
Then shi* happened. And I did pretty good considering. Up and down. But only 5 lb swings.
Then … as challenges got more and more new and habits fell away
I panicked SOFTLY
softly at first.
COPING with food.
Grounding with food.
Transitioning with food.
Comforting with food.
Identifying with food.
Finding Familiar in Food.
Even the familiar struggle of DIET and WOES?????

Damn it!! P!!!
No no non no
Don't take that tone with yourself!!!!

Aha. There there.
WE ARE NOT DONE YET.

That's all darling
(Speak to yourself kindly. As you would someone else. With compassion.
With love.)

SPEAK TO YOURSELF WITH LOVE

I like being more lithe.
I want it.

Okay… the heavier body… the tighter clothes
has had you FREAKING OUT. PANICKING. RUNNING>
And.. guess what…?
When I'm scared like that…. I ate. I used to. And I've been doing so again.

I DO … I DO want … my script to include more than weight and food narrative.
I DO want to S T R E T C H

First things First, Love
Turn Here…. and to KM …. for the soft vulnerable truth of your fear
and for the strong wise truth of your inner being

your experience s are stretching
scarey
wanted
wanting

No where to run
No need to hide
Okay to retreat
But don't shut down, lovey
Stay with me
Stay with me
And let's find the sweet way to enjoy the time



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