Monday, June 30, 2014
This may be a hard blog for me to write, but a necessary one.
For many years I hid behind my self-made cloak of fat. I wore it as armor.
It protected me from attention. When thin I attracted unwanted attention.
When fat I was denied attention needed for career momentum.
Did I fear failure? Or did I fear success?
This cloak that I earned through years of dedicated devotion to solving
all my problems of love, fear of rejection, fear of acceptance for me even if thin.
This cloak provided me warmth from loneliness, but the sad part is I only felt more
alone and more isolated. This cloak prevented free and easy mobility to participate
The development of this cloak and its weight has cause my body irreparable damage to the knees. It has destroyed my health. It has weakened my immune system. In providing me a shield from others, it has denied me the privilege of meeting and being accepted by new friends.
The cloak is old and tired now. I am readying myself for a new cloak as I face the next milestone in my life. In August I will turn 65. By age 66 I want to be a thinner and more mobile lady. I want to march forward with the rest of my life more freely.
Come walk with me.