Sunday, June 29, 2014
2014 has been a rough year so far. My father, who has dementia and other health issues, came to live with us in 2013. Since Jan. 2014 he has been in hospital twice, got a pacemaker, been in nursing home for rehab and is back with us now. Currently recovering from pace maker procedure and doesn't remember he has a pacemaker.
Two days before Christmas my youngest brother found out his cancer treatment was not working. We went out of state to visit him in hospital in February. He died end of March and we went to memorial service and stayed 3 weeks to help settle things.
I have another brother who has never been available to help with Dad.
So I've lost the brother I was closest to and now I'm seeing my Dad deteriorating and know we will lose him too. It's just too sad. I wish my other brother would realize that I need his help with Dad, but he won't do anything because he just wants to live his own life, doing whatever makes him happy and letting me take care of all the sad stuff. I have no kids, so future looks like it's going to be just a series of loses as I get older with no more happiness left for me in life.
Yes, I am depressed and I am making an appointment to see someone.
I guess the main reason for this blog is to get some support and helpful suggestions to deal with binge eating. I worked so hard to lose 90 pounds and now I've regained 25 of it. I don't want to regain any more. I want to get back to where I was in weight loss. I felt so proud of that, but now I'm ashamed of letting myself regain.