4,000-5,499 SparkPoints 4,600

The Battle Within

Friday, June 27, 2014

This is the first time in my life I am actually LEARNING how to eat and live healthy. I had gastric bypass almost 7 years ago and never thought I would be in this position ever again in my life. Well here we are. I have gained over half of what I lost back and I'm trying to learn how to do this right.

I have been tracking my food, which has helped me become much more aware of what I am putting in my body and how much I am consuming. This has been a very enlightening process. With that I have also been exercising almost daily and that has been wonderful, I have gotten to a place that I actually look forward to it. Even if it only a short amount of time I have learned its better than not doing anything at all.

So that brings me to last night. For the first time since I have been making an effort to change so much of my life to be more healthy I was faced with the battle I carry within myself.

Went to hot yoga last night. The instructor was brutal to say the least and the work out was extremely intense. Well I managed to mess my knee up somehow and on the drive home I was in incredible pain. That's when the battle began. All of my worries that I hadn't really given much attention to came to the forefront.

I began to worry "what if I cant drop this weight", "what if its too late", "did I waste the opportunity when I gained all of this back".

I became overwhelmed with the what if's, the fears, and the feeling of failure. Everything that I felt so good about over the past few weeks was gone in seconds. All of that was a hard pill to swallow.

I fought with myself the whole way home. Who needs an enemy when you are your own worse enemy.

I got past it and I sit here today with a new day, a fresh new start and the ability to continue to grow, learn and change my life to live healthier and a more fulfilled life. I have amazing support and all of that by itself enough to keep going.

I am sure this is just the first of many battles I will have with myself, but hopefully I can look back at this one and remember I CAN DO THIS, and I WILL DO THIS!! I am grateful for the chance to keep going in this direction and to continue to grow.

Exited for the Future
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Awesome and very inspiring! :)
    1359 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by SCLARK91184