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    LOFLLAMA   52,582
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Atrophy to Death???

Friday, June 20, 2014

You all may be surprised because I've been keeping my opinion to myself the last few weeks! It's been hard....oh, so hard.

You know my mom had MS. She was diagnosed in her mid forties & was in a full care facility by the time she was my age. Yes! Before she was 50 she was in a wheel chair & NURSING HOME. Her body was completely atrophied. MS is mean. By the time she died at 61 she only had VERY limited use of her right arm. She could hold a sippy cup & sometimes a fork to feed herself.

My sisters & I traveled back to Billings when she was diagnosed. I thought that MS was a death sentence. Ironically, it was actually worse. Yes, worse. My mom was sentenced to almost 15 years alone with her thoughts, regrets, unknown ambitions & hopes.

The Dr had given my older sister some exercises for my mom to do to keep her body from deteriorating any faster, but my mom refused to do them. IF she did do them she complained the whole time and as soon as my sister went home mom abandoned her exercise routine completely. She continued drinking, not exercising & eating horribly! (if at mom was also anorexic.)

By the time I saw her again she looked completely different. I didn't recognize my own mom when they wheeled her out to the visitor's area. My niece called her Grandma & hugged her. I was shocked. She had gained probably 25 pounds. Her hair was waist long & it's natural color. Other than being in a wheelchair I hadn't seen her that healthy in years! MS indirectly saved her life. Or at least prolonged it.

I got so angry at her because almost immediately she told me she wanted to 'go somewhere'. WHAT??? She spent the better part of 20 years on a bar stool & NOW she wanted to go somewhere???? My dad took us to Disneyland & mom sat on a bench the entire time complaining that she was bored! She was in her early 30's at the time.

Why am I telling you this? Because I don't want to let myself atrophy. Am I going to sit on the couch until my legs wither up & die?

Are you going to start getting fingers & toes removed before you get your diabetes under control? Maybe you'll need to lose a leg to the knee?

My mom's life was too short. I don't know what lessons she learned, but I know the ones I have. They aren't going to be wasted!

Bipolar Mania!
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LISALGB 6/20/2014 10:30PM

    You very well may be the bravest person I know!!

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IRON_RESOLVE 6/20/2014 10:13PM

    It's always interesting to see how some people are born survivors, and rise above all circumstances. First there is the family of origin, we move on from that, with learned behaviors, over eating, etc. Next we move to our family of choice. Here we make good and bad choices. But ultimately, if we are wise, and if we mature, or if we can put the past, where it belongs, (in the past), then we learn to sincerely care for ourselves. This can be a quick, short and decisive destination or a very long road to realization of what is best for us, or even a winding or jagged one, where we don't use our judgment, or let others think for us, or hurt us. But eventually, if we live a life of clear and personal choice, it's here we make positive and consistent changes that lead to continued growth. It's where we live out our best life.
So glad you are where you are, and that you continue to blossom, and that you are living out your best life. I also love that you share. People can learn so much from others sharing their story. With your wit and concise rendition of what you have lived, and what you have learned, I think you will sum it up eventually and write the story of your life.

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GAILANN48 6/20/2014 9:37PM

    If we can learn from the mistakes of others, it can be much less painful than needing to make those same mistakes ourselves (we can make different ones!), but it still hurts to see those we love suffer in any way. You've taken pain, frustration, fear, and anger and used them to inspire beautiful words, Lisa. Thank you for caring enough to do that. You're such a love.

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KAREN608 6/20/2014 7:15PM

    I learned a lot from the bad choices of others also.
I know quite a few people that seem to WANT to continue the parents bad habits of smoking, drinking to excess, risky behavior. Go figure.

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EILEEN828 6/20/2014 3:35PM

    It's great that you've been able to look at poor choices in someone else, see the lesson in it and apply it to yourself. It's easy to say , "Well that was their problem, not mine." Unfortunately "those" problems can easily turn into " your" problems. The more I educate myself of specific health concerns I find myself amazed about how much is interrelated, the commonalities. If you can focus on treating the commonalities just how much of the specifics will never manifest? For instance, just how much is related to your guts alone? A huge amount as it turns out. Any how that is my focus right now, getting my digestive track back to optimal. It's good to have you blogging again. emoticon emoticon

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CROUCHINGFLEA 6/20/2014 2:49PM

    emoticon for sharing. My Mom died of untreated, diagnosed diabetes. If she'd have just gone to the doctor she could have lived a much longer, fuller life.

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COASTAL6 6/20/2014 2:45PM

    I don't don't know what to say, I feel so sad for you, and also you have come a long way, I'm very proud of you my friend. I'm so very happy to hear from you, I missed you! emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 6/20/2014 12:22PM

    You brought tears to my eyes with this blog. My dad died of Alzheimer's, and I didn't recognize him the last time I saw him.

Comment edited on: 6/20/2014 12:23:24 PM

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ICECUB 6/20/2014 12:01PM

    very interesting blog. diabetes runs in my family. when my father passed he had loss both legs at the knee. a good incentive to lose weight.

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BRENDAGAIL9 6/20/2014 11:55AM

    My mother died at age 37 from cancer. I was 16 and took care of her at home until the day she died. It was 9 months she lasted after she was diagnosed and they did a few surgeries that never healed. She was also an alcoholic, married five times and three children with different fathers. It was a hard life but it made me very strong and competent.

I met my father a couple times, he was an alcoholic, married to one and they had three children. It is a very long story but it is my story and I don't dwell on the past. I don't feel sorry for myself and don't depend on anyone.

We all have our stories and I enjoy reading about others.

In my building there are only two of us that are really healthy, eat right and get out and walk.

The sun is shining brightly today and it will be a beautiful one. I ordered an ice cream/yogurt/smoothie maker from Amazon that will be here today so I can make my own goodies and control the sugar and fat. Reading labels these days is very scary.

Have a good weekend. I do enjoy your blogs.

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LADYOLIVER 6/20/2014 11:45AM

    emoticon for sharing. Knowing my family history was one of the other reasons I was determined to change for HEALTH. Though it was sudden death for mom in January, she had made the decision to change some bad health choices. But she didn't get a chance to live them out. It was too late.... emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/20/2014 11:35AM

    Absolutely! I've got one life, and that's why I needed to change it for the better.

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MISSB8604 6/20/2014 11:11AM

    You are as always, amazing.

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SANDRALEET 6/20/2014 10:23AM

    Life is to short to waist

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NANCYPAT1 6/20/2014 10:01AM

    We learn from both our own and others' mistakes and decisions. I am sorry you lost your mother but I am happy that you have learned something from the sad way that she ended up "living" or "not living" her life.

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SLIMMERJESSE 6/20/2014 9:51AM

    Touching blog. Thank you!

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