Friday, June 20, 2014
You all may be surprised because I've been keeping my opinion to myself the last few weeks! It's been hard....oh, so hard.
You know my mom had MS. She was diagnosed in her mid forties & was in a full care facility by the time she was my age. Yes! Before she was 50 she was in a wheel chair & NURSING HOME. Her body was completely atrophied. MS is mean. By the time she died at 61 she only had VERY limited use of her right arm. She could hold a sippy cup & sometimes a fork to feed herself.
My sisters & I traveled back to Billings when she was diagnosed. I thought that MS was a death sentence. Ironically, it was actually worse. Yes, worse. My mom was sentenced to almost 15 years alone with her thoughts, regrets, unknown ambitions & hopes.
The Dr had given my older sister some exercises for my mom to do to keep her body from deteriorating any faster, but my mom refused to do them. IF she did do them she complained the whole time and as soon as my sister went home mom abandoned her exercise routine completely. She continued drinking, not exercising & eating horribly! (if at all...my mom was also anorexic.)
By the time I saw her again she looked completely different. I didn't recognize my own mom when they wheeled her out to the visitor's area. My niece called her Grandma & hugged her. I was shocked. She had gained probably 25 pounds. Her hair was waist long & it's natural color. Other than being in a wheelchair I hadn't seen her that healthy in years! MS indirectly saved her life. Or at least prolonged it.
I got so angry at her because almost immediately she told me she wanted to 'go somewhere'. WHAT??? She spent the better part of 20 years on a bar stool & NOW she wanted to go somewhere???? My dad took us to Disneyland & mom sat on a bench the entire time complaining that she was bored! She was in her early 30's at the time.
Why am I telling you this? Because I don't want to let myself atrophy. Am I going to sit on the couch until my legs wither up & die?
Are you going to start getting fingers & toes removed before you get your diabetes under control? Maybe you'll need to lose a leg to the knee?
My mom's life was too short. I don't know what lessons she learned, but I know the ones I have. They aren't going to be wasted!
Bipolar Mania! www.sparkpeople.com/mysp