Thursday, June 19, 2014
Yesterday I had the thing at work that I was totally dreading. I taught an online class. I've never done anything like this and pretty much NEVER EVER EVER do public speaking. I can get pretty tongue-tied. Deer in headlights.
But I agreed to do this when I was asked two months ago. And I thought, "This is so good for me!" Ha... Yes, I knew it would be good for me career-wise and personal-growth-wise if it went well. If not... well, let's not go there.
So I prepared. A lot. I actually felt pretty good about the whole thing until I did a run-through with a colleague. I wanted some practice and any suggestions for improvement. However, this guy gave me so many suggestions on everything I was saying and doing that it really rattled my confidence. I had to step back and realize that he was trying to be helpful. He's just a real "take charge" kind of person who loves to hear himself talk. I took some of his suggestions and left the rest. It wasn't like I had time to go back to the drawing board. It was my presentation, after all, and it had to flow naturally for me.
So, long story short, I did the class yesterday, and it went just fine. Once I got into it, I got over that heightened fear sensation and was able to just talk through the whole thing naturally. This is HUGE for me. I have a history of panic attacks, so being able to overcome that and function like a normal person makes me SOOOOOO HAPPY!
We have part 2 of the class today, and I know it will be just fine now. Remember that part in Harry Potter where he is able to cast a Patronus because he knew that he already had? He saw himself do it when he had time-traveled back, and he thought it was his dad, but really it was himself. That says so much to me about the importance of confidence. If you believe that you can, you can.
To be honest, trying to build my confidence back up, I reminded myself that I never thought I could run either. And I proved that I could do it. Running has been such a confidence builder for me!!
Ok, that's all for now. I just had to share my success story with you. Thanks for your supportive comments and positive vibes! I really appreciate them!