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Xanax, Biopsy, & Painful moments. I found my weaknesses

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

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Xanax, Biopsy, & Painful moments. I found my weaknesses

I have so many weaknesses. Being human it is only natural, here is mine. The last 2 days we had so much “LIFE” to deal with that I didn’t track food correctly and I did not make the best choices. I went over my calorie intake.
Life is always going to be ever present. The internet I have is extremely unreliable. So right off the bat couldn’t track anything. Even now I am writing this blog on a word document. No exercise yesterday or today. Here is just one example of how I let life get in the way. Just a quick reminder, I have been fighting illnesses related to my life and my reproductive organs, including the total loss of one ovary due to a major surgery.
So, I have been trying to get everything done with that. I had a biopsy today at 2:30p.m. Now, I’ve had this biopsy before and I know what to expect but yesterday I began freaking out. I freaked out last time too, they say it doesn’t hurt it’s just a little cramping. Yeah, well, let me stick something inside you and dialate you and scrape cells off of your internal walls and tell me it doesn’t hurt!!!!
So Doctor prescribed me something I have never taken, Xanax. She gave me 2, one for the night before the surgery and one 2 hours before surgery. They did help extremely with the anxiety, but it still hurt! Badly! That’s done with, but now we have the results of my lab from last week. So my ovarian hormone levels are normal…. That’s good. My testosterone is high as well as my insulin levels are really high. Not good, this could be diabetes  I didn’t have it. I’m going to be so upset.
So I have an appointment tomorrow with the primary care physician. Hopefully this isn’t diabetes. Either way she is talking about putting me on metformin. She says it will help with my PCOS and help me ovulate. So it will help me conceive. It is so scary all this happening to me.
Not just that but we’re trying to get our truck fixed. So Even though I am trying, I let life get in the way  Now I am exhausted (from the procedure) and mellowed out (because of the Xanax) and I had spaghetti-o’s for dinner. I don’t care. Judge me! I needed spaghetti-o’s and strawberry quik tonight. But tomorrow I’m back on the grind. Back to the routine. The painful “cramping” should be over with. Shake it off.
Knock Down! Get Up! Come on Christina. Life is knocking you down, fight back! Don’t let yourself be distracted and do not let yourself fall into extra health issues.
Knock Down Get Up.
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