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Reflections...

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

So, I'm looking over the pattern of my Spark behavior and reflecting on what has worked.

It's clear that I've been more successful losing weight and exercising regularly in the year I've been in this space, doing this work. (Hey! Happy Anniversary to ME!) Though I've lost weight in the past, on my own, that effort was probably less healthy and less likely to stay. I feel like being here, I'm cultivating good habits and I have a good space in which to ruminate about health building.

Why?

Community, certainly. I really like some of the people I've met here, though I can't say I really know them. But I'm rooting for them to succeed, and I feel like they're rooting for me, too. The positive tone is really wonderful; particularly when I see so many people here who get down on themselves or who are feeling frustrated - someone is always there to tell them to cheer up, to point out their successes, or to tell them - kindly - to pack up the pity party and get back to work because what we're doing isn't easy, but plenty people here have and do succeed. With this many people, it's nice to see so much constructive commentary. (It could just as easily go the other way, this being the internet and all...)

And - an observation from my beloved partner - if I expend my fund of conversation about losing weight and exercising here, he doesn't have to listen to it. He is REALLY supportive, honest - but there are only so many conversations about kale smoothies and whether I like my new Merrills or should I ride on Monday and try to run that night...and, and, and. He finds this focus dull, at times. Imagine that.

What else? Oh, the silly rewards - it's funny how spinning that wheel every day keeps me coming back. I like streaks. I like accumulating points, and leveling up because I've been consistent and I've been doing the work. (And hmmm. What's a habit, but a streak, of sorts?)

I like having a convenient place to log information - I've been frustrated by different apps and notebooks and things. I'm sure there are better systems than this one, but this one is good enough for me.

I like being accountable in a way that's different from going at this alone. (Thanks, guys!)

And what doesn't work? Getting too comfortable before I'm ready to - when I stop logging meals, my weight driiiiiiiiiifts up. When I'm feeling like slacking off on the workout, it's harder to work out the next time.

I learned that the hard way - I thought I could take a break when I was polar vortexed to the max, and stymied by the blues. I shouldn't have slacked off so much. Now, I'm happy to be back into it, because the rewards are showing up again (I'm back to my pre-break weight, and building up still to my pre-break running speed.) And I've learned that when I take a break, it's harder to get back into it. Good to know.

So, I'm still here. Still working, still learning.
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