Tuesday, June 17, 2014
I just can't handle not having a kitchen and exercise routines. I am less than a week into this summer moving fiasco, and I am already off kilter. I am just not ready for this--health and home are synonymous to me.
Today's shame was hunger. I woke up and had breakfast at the hotel, but I forgot to pack a lunch. I went to do some tourist things, and realized around 2 PM that I was starving. I ended up going into a grocery store and buying cheese, crackers and chips. I reasoned it would be good to have snacks in the car. (PLEASE READ MY BLOG WHERE I VOWED NOT TO HAVE SNACKS IN THE CAR!)
Snacks in the car are a bad idea. The bag of chips quickly disappeared, and I arrived back at the hotel feeling sick but not satisfied. I tried to do some damage control by eating a grapefruit. Then I decided to eat more cheese and crackers instead of going to dinner, which was probably a good idea, since dinner here seems to be late and heavy. I took a walk this evening, but it wasn't very long. I am used to walking a few hours a day, plus I try to do some additional activity in the evening. I am not getting enough exercise, and I am not happy with how I am choosing to eat.
The best part of the day was when I started to think about food again and went to the car to get an apple. I usually eat an apple each day for lunch, and if I am hungry in the evening, I try to eat a second one. Apples keep me balanced and help me to monitor my behavior with food. In modern times, we love variety, but I am not so sure that is what is best for me to overcome my eating problem. Eating the same thing at the same time each day seems to give me the most control over food.
I am trying not to have feelings about my poor decisions right now. I just get so obsessed with food, and I know I lost the weight by creating structured routines instead of dealing with the deeper issues. Since I have lots of time alone in hotels, I am able to think of things a bit, but that doesn't make eating easier. In fact, it seems like I am using food to push down these feelings as they come up, but there is also the novelty of new food in a new place. I just really miss my kitchen and my morning walk to work. Silly and sad, I know!