Tuesday, June 17, 2014
I am desperately trying to start over.
I want to move out of this small town where I don't have any friends. I want to get away from my boyfriend because he drinks all the time and is annoying and aggressive when he does. I just want to buy a little house in the city where I can have friends. I want to live alone with my pets and I make the rules and everything operates my way and I don't have to worry about whether my boyfriend is going to come home drunk and in a bad mood. I want a job that pays me enough to live comfortably on my own.
I'm in my 40's and I don't think any of this is unreasonable. It's just that the stupid world is designed to keep me in this one little place. A place where I can't get ahead. A place where I am miserable. This is BS and it needs to stop. And I mean immediately.
I work. I pay my bills. I come home and have no social life. I seriously hate it here. I have been trying to get the hell out of here for a long time. They say money can't buy you happiness, but if I had money I could afford to relocate and pay off my car and start over... You know what they say, 'Wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which one fills up first'.
And people wonder why I'm depressed and irritable. It's because I need a life upgrade asap.
What brought on this rant you ask?? I didn't get the dream job I was hoping for. I now realize I am destined to live in this crappy cycle and be miserable forever and I might as well get used to it. That's just great.
Back to the drawing board.