Friday, June 13, 2014
So I've been making calls and sending emails ALL DAY. I've also been looking over other job opportunities for next year. I'm not "planning" to leave my current job, just wanting to see if there is a better opportunity out there. I've been looking at different websites for different schools in the area. I breezed past a bus driver position.
THAT POSITION STARTS AT MORE MONEY THAN I'M MAKING RIGHT NOW!
I'm an educated person. I have worked hard. I have an AAS Degree, and I graduated with honors. I've been at my current job for two years...and a BUS DRIVER will make more money than me? REALLY?
THIS is a perfect example of why I want something completely different. I mean...I couldn't make this up. This is a glaring, painful reminder that although I love my job and am quite good at it, that perhaps I deserve to be somewhere else.
So that leaves me with all these questions...what the heck will I do if I'm not working with kids? Will I go back to school? Do I go for the Bachelor's Degree or get something else entirely? What would I even DO?
I just feel so lost right now. My head is absolutely spinning. In a way, my impulse is to just give up. I feel like I just can't win. I don't know what to say or do anymore. Maybe I just need to accept some truths. Maybe I need to accept the fact that I'm fat, and that I always will be. Maybe I need to accept the fact that I'm in a low-paying, go-nowhere job, and that's where I'll always be. And I even got EDUCATED. I put myself through college...and this is what I get? In my early thirties, when people at Walmart and McDonald's and bus drivers make more than me? Where is the justice in this? I know how HARD I worked to get my degree, and I know how HARD I work every single day of my life. I'm not at all afraid to work hard. I like to work hard. But I'd like to FINALLY have a paycheck that appropriately reflected all that hard work. I keep telling myself that if I am going to go back to school, I'm not going to do it for a job that will only give me a couple more dollars per hour. I want to at least double my current salary.
I'm willing to put in the work.
It just HAS to be worth it in the end.