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    TRENTDREAMER   15,070
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Focus: Values and Beliefs

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

**FOCUS

So last week for the fastbreak portion of my SparkDiet I read the chapter addressing the cornerstone of "Focus". It includes three building blocks:

* Values and Beliefs
* Purpose and Vision
* Goal setting

Each one builds on the one before it in the process. I'm not going to lie. As a guy I found it kind of touchy-feeley at first. The goal setting thing made sense, but the other two seemed kind of enigmatic and unnecessary. I read the section about 5 times and by the end, I got it.

My failures have come not from lack of effort nor lack of goals. Rather it came from a lack of integrity. My goal of 195@15% comes from a very small portion of who I am. The concept of achieving it is good, but honestly very irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

**ABOUT ME (Values and Beliefs):

1) What truly drives me is achievement and growth. I like a new challenge and feel trapped when I've achieved something and have nowhere to go. Having the goal of 195@15% has been a weak goal in that it has represented an end of the line with no next steps.

2) My friends mean everything to me. I tend to only have a few friends at any given time, but they are always very deep friendships. I don't totally know how that applies to weight loss, but I'm not sure that it has to.

3) Helping others gives me life. In college I was a tutor (best job ever). When I volunteer, it's helping people further themselves, grow, or somehow better their lives. I like accomplishing something and then helping others in my shoes to do so. It's taking achievement to the next level in that it leaves a legacy of sorts.

**WHAT'S KILLED ME MOST....

What's killed me the most about setting a very reasonable 2 part goal and not being able to achieve either part is that I feel like I'm not much value as a friend to others trying to achieve their goals (that's why getting the motivator award bugged me).

That's why the whole "You gotta do it for you" mentality has always been fingernails against the chalkboard to me.

Someone tells me that I've inspired them when I haven't done anything inspirational. It doesn't really lead to any changes in their life. I feel like a failure (and a patronized one at that).

**NEXT STEP

The fact of the matter is that as a goal. 195@15% may be a good goal or it may not. From what the next building block says, I need to develop a purpose and vision based on my core values and beliefs.

This means more reflecting. I will blog about it next week.

Thanks for reading.

- TD in
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHYGETSFIT 6/13/2014 1:45AM

    Tooterfish said it well...it can be really hard to figure out Who You Are.

I haven't ever read the Spark and not sure if I ever will. I haven't hit my goal weight yet but I'm working on it. My scale isn't working correctly so I'm not sure if I've lost lbs or not but I have lost inches. I think that what you are doing now though is going to help you to figure who you are, what you want, where you want to go, how you plan on doing why. Why can be one of the most important parts in getting to know who you really are. Good luck with all of it!

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A_RARE_BEAN 6/12/2014 5:03PM

    Wow Tooterfish said it very well. I firmly believe that this work you're doing is key to long lasting progress and change, understanding yourself fully and truly.

(you probably noticed I'm all about the touchy feely on my blog emoticon , like you I've been on spark for ages and haven't hit my goals and want to know why I repeatedly fail myself!)

Much respect to you Trent, and hope things are falling into place for you through your insights.

Bean



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TOOTERFISH 6/12/2014 6:53AM

    sometimes figuring Who You Are seems a most daunting task.
it is a bit touchy-feely.. because you're examining the most vulnerable sections of yourself and your beliefs - and not everyone might like them (even yourself)
difficulties can come from understanding that only You can answer the question, "Who Are You?"
though Trent, there is No Wrong Answer.. truly. because the answers ARE Who You Are.
What You believe in IS what you believe in. And it IS ok whatever it is, because that's Who You Are. get it?

I've never read Spark, and am unable to know the way it is explained, so i'm unsure if sharing my method with you would be helpful in any way..
-- For me, i just started a list of things i believe in, things i know to be true and beneficial for ME.
You can see an older version of my 'mantras/mission statements/beliefs' in my blog titled EASY PEASY. (it's on the last page of my blogs)
and even when i did entire sparkpeople page edits and removed almost everything i had ever done here, Those foundational bits for my health and myself have always remained.
because those bits make up Who I Am. See?

I give you a lot of credit for working your new program with such a willing spirit. I prob will never read Spark, but through your words and posts here, i am able to learn
and that is an awesome thing.
and I thank you for it.
Know yourself. and Be well.

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