Wednesday, June 11, 2014
So last week for the fastbreak portion of my SparkDiet I read the chapter addressing the cornerstone of "Focus". It includes three building blocks:
* Values and Beliefs
* Purpose and Vision
* Goal setting
Each one builds on the one before it in the process. I'm not going to lie. As a guy I found it kind of touchy-feeley at first. The goal setting thing made sense, but the other two seemed kind of enigmatic and unnecessary. I read the section about 5 times and by the end, I got it.
My failures have come not from lack of effort nor lack of goals. Rather it came from a lack of integrity. My goal of 195@15% comes from a very small portion of who I am. The concept of achieving it is good, but honestly very irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
**ABOUT ME (Values and Beliefs):
1) What truly drives me is achievement and growth. I like a new challenge and feel trapped when I've achieved something and have nowhere to go. Having the goal of 195@15% has been a weak goal in that it has represented an end of the line with no next steps.
2) My friends mean everything to me. I tend to only have a few friends at any given time, but they are always very deep friendships. I don't totally know how that applies to weight loss, but I'm not sure that it has to.
3) Helping others gives me life. In college I was a tutor (best job ever). When I volunteer, it's helping people further themselves, grow, or somehow better their lives. I like accomplishing something and then helping others in my shoes to do so. It's taking achievement to the next level in that it leaves a legacy of sorts.
**WHAT'S KILLED ME MOST....
What's killed me the most about setting a very reasonable 2 part goal and not being able to achieve either part is that I feel like I'm not much value as a friend to others trying to achieve their goals (that's why getting the motivator award bugged me).
That's why the whole "You gotta do it for you" mentality has always been fingernails against the chalkboard to me.
Someone tells me that I've inspired them when I haven't done anything inspirational. It doesn't really lead to any changes in their life. I feel like a failure (and a patronized one at that).
The fact of the matter is that as a goal. 195@15% may be a good goal or it may not. From what the next building block says, I need to develop a purpose and vision based on my core values and beliefs.
This means more reflecting. I will blog about it next week.
Thanks for reading.
- TD in