Tuesday, June 10, 2014
So I have been back at Spark for a couple of weeks after being away for a few months, here it is like nothing has changed, everyone has welcomed me back like an old friend and I have fitted in like I always have. On this side of the screen however things are very different...
As you may or may not know, I started a new job in January I was looking after a lady with MS and dementia who was the most wonderful lady, she would often tell me she was trying to be a misery but she was never any good at it, she would then ask me if miseries really existed because she couldn't understand why anyone would want to be miserable. This woman was only in her early 50s and had no control of most of her body, she was so vulnerable to infection she was not able to go outside and she was so full of life, great sense of humour and not a bad word to say against anyone. Sadly in March she contracted two didn't infections and passed away.
At the end of April I had more bad news, a guy I went to school with, who was one of my best friends while we were there, passed away 2 months before his 25th birthday. He was such a great guy, he lost his way for a few years and ended up in prison but he came out a different man, a better man and was rebuilding his life with his girlfriend and their son and one day he goes for a lie down and just never gets back up again. It is something that took me a while to get my head around and except that he was dead, I even tried to stay away from his funeral so I could keep pretending that he was just away but my mum made me go, her and my younger sister came along, they love him too, when we were 13, 14, 15 he and all my other friends practically lived at my house so my family love them all as much as I do.
My depression has also been going up and down, unsurprising, I think I have finally got it under control with the right meds so hopefully as long as I remember to take them I will remain in control.
I have had some good over the last few months, I am still with Chris and things are going really well, we have even spoke about getting a place together, he has offered me to move in with him but he lives with his mum and brother and I cannot go back to living with parents, especially when the brother always eats the food Chris buys for him to take to work and his mum wants to charge us £700 for two of us to have 1 room. To put the in perspective to people that don't live in England I pay £650 for my rent, tax, electric, water, food, sky (cable and internet) and a little left for petrol. So as I'm sure you can imagine I have said no, sadly Chris cannot drive and he works in a different town to where I live so he cannot move in here so we are having to save up about £1200 to get a house together. But at least that way we can't rush into anything and can be completely sure it is what we want and I am still enjoying living on my own and having my own independence, if I am completely honest I don't know if I am ready to give that up just yet. But it is going to take at least 6 months to save up and I'm sure by then I will be ready.
At work I am now looking after a lady in her early 50s who had a car crash that left her paralysed from the neck down, she is the complete opposite to the other lady I looked after, she is rude and miserable and in 1 year has got through over 20 carers because she keeps scaring them off. Everyone has called me crazy going to this woman but I really wanted a challenge and so far things are going well, just before she went away (she has gone to Ireland for 10 days, which is why I now have 10 days off) she said 'I hope you will come back once I have got back from Ireland' which I thought was really nice.
So anyway that is my life over the last few months, I have also gained nearly all the weight back. But I am back and here to get the weight off and keep it off.