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    CALLIKIA   23,828
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Week 2 Check-In


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Okay. so let's just start by saying tomorrow is weigh-in and I am not looking forward to it. Week 2 was certainly harder, just as anticipated!

Goals for this week:
emoticon Drink 8 glasses of water a day.

I actually don't think I was able to do this yesterday. No clue what my problem was yesterday.

emoticon Log all food and try to stay within calorie goals.

Yea, I had 2 days of not logging. I will try to go back and recapture some of it so I can own up to what damage I may have done, but I don't know how well that will work. Sunday was just a case of overeating. I stress eat. I know that. And we just got an email from our foreign exchange student, which has put me into a tailspin. Trying to dig my way back out now. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. Even my DREAMS are turning against me!

emoticon Walk every day.

This hasn't been happening. I need to figure out how to do this safely. I could feel my PF coming back with force. I have to make sure I'm being really careful here because I want progress, not a stop sign.

emoticon Start every morning with at least 1 positive affirmation.

This hasn't been going so well. I'm trying.

Quote for today: "I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse." –Florence Nightingale

Words to live by! No excuses!

emoticon Take starting measurements.

Full on admission - I haven't done this. Haven't found a measuring tape and have been too busy to worry about it.

emoticon Lose 2 pounds.

I really don't think this is going to happen. Right now I'm just asking not to gain more than those 5 pounds I lost last week back...

emoticon Start doing some yoga/stretching. Yoga at least 2 days. Stretching as a habit before and after walking. (I need to pay special attention to my feet because I feel that lingering PF just waiting to rear its ugly head. Going to try to stay on top of it this time.)

I haven't. It's not good. I should be.

emoticon At least 2 veggies and 1 fruit per day.

I haven't been counting, honestly, but I have been trying to make better choices.

I have no excuses. Life gets in the way and we have to not let it. We have to put aside the anger and hate and resentment and sadness and all of the trials we're dealing with in life and just work on bettering ourselves in every moment we can. We have to forget about the fight we just had with the Hubs and eat an apple instead of a pint of ice cream. Because I'm not a normal girl. I can't be sad like normal girls. I can't have cheat days like they do and not even notice the results. I have to be ON IT 24/7/7days a week. I wish it wasn't this way, but I could wish myself a pony and never get to ride.

Next week we're going on vacation. There will be a pool and a beach involved at some point, and I am so terrified I think I could spit. And then the vacation after that? It's ALL on the beach. I'm trying to pretend I don't care. I'm trying to buck up some false confidence to get through it, but my bathing suit is sitting on my dresser and I'm too afraid to even try it on to see if I need a new one. But I have to tonight. Tonight may be miserable for me. Remember me? The girl that used to swim DAILY? The girl that could swim a mile straight in the pool, no problem? Well, I haven't been in a pool so long because I'm just plain NOT feeling good about myself and my body. And I'm struggling to get past this point. I hate this part. I hate it so much. I know I can't move forward with being healthy and happy if I don't break through this part, but I really feel like I can't breathe.

And I suppose that's a lot of the reason for the self-destruction this week. That and the exchange student and the working on the marriage thing and the kids growing up thing and the fact that I haven't seen my youngest since FRIDAY! *sigh* It's not been a good week for me.

But what have I done right?

* Last night I went out with Hubs. We ate at Olive Garden and I ate too many breadsticks and too much salad and too much pasta and all of my little dolcini, but I didn't get popcorn at the movie and I only had a few sips of Hubs' pop and I chose Twizzlers as a candy and shared with Hubs and still have about half the package in my purse right now. Small steps.

* Saturday, I could feel that I wanted to sit home and eat...so I grabbed my son and we went to breakfast out where I got 3 pancakes and some bacon and only ate half of it. And then we went out shopping at yard sales all morning and into the afternoon. And I drank a lot of water and didn't snack on stupid things. I had just a couple bites of a shaved ice we got, and I logged it. I tried to be smart and I ended up having a really great time with my 14 year old and didn't spend too much money either.

* I have been bringing my lunch to work instead of buying anything. Frozen dinners aren't the most healthy, but they range from 250-500 calories, which means I can fit them into my day without really hurting my calorie goals. If I grabbed lunch from one of the local places, I could be pushing 800 calories for lunch (or more!).

* I did work yesterday during the day to drink my water...and maybe I did get there, but I doubt it. I didn't do so well AFTER work. Need to work on that. But I'm killing it at work! That's half my day right there when I'm doing the right thing and making good choices for myself.

* I'm planning out meals again. I did a meal plan for this week, stayed within my budget and am using Sparkrecipes to fill the gaps. Meals for the week include Casoulet (SparkRecipes - we had that Sunday), Cheesy Hamburger Casserole (SparkRecipes), Slow Cooker Creamy Italian Chicken (SparkRecipes), some crescent roll taco bake thing (also a SparkRecipe, I think), and Chili. I'm really trying to take the guess work out of this process. If I have a 200-500 calorie lunch, about the same for breakfast, and then a similar amount for dinner, that's a 1500 calorie day. Add in a few small snacks in between, maybe a "diet" dessert, and we're in the 2k range where I need to be right now.

*I'm still here. I'm checking in. Sometimes showing up is half the battle.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WISHICOULDFLY 6/12/2014 6:40AM

    You're here and you have not given up. Focus on continuing to improve by doing well more frequently, not perfection. You will get where you want to be. You are strong! emoticon

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ERIN1128 6/11/2014 12:38PM

    I agree with the comment about letting go of the "bad" two days. Better to focus on all the things you're doing well!

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ALBURBRIDGE 6/11/2014 2:12AM

    You seem to have a lot on your plate right now. I'd recommend not focusing on the 2 days you didn't track and just letting it go. Focus on what you're doing now to be healthy. Writing those 2 days down might make you feel accountable but it also is just taking time out of your busy day and possibly making you feel bad. Your time might be better spent doing something that will help you stay on track in the next few days. Just a thought while I was reading your blog.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 6/10/2014 7:09PM

    Showing up IS half the battle!!! Keep showing up girlie...I'm so proud of you for finding the things that you did right this past week! :-)

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MADDEELOU 6/10/2014 11:40AM

    I appreciate your honesty. That is half the battle right there. You have a plan and you did many positive things last week. Try to stay focused on those. You are going to win this battle. You showed up, didn't you?

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TKTMTA 6/10/2014 11:33AM

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JLAMING263 6/10/2014 11:19AM

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