Today was a good day. I just got fed up with myself over the past few days. With letting laziness creep in when I should be working out; with letting myself buy things I know I will binge on, and then bingeing on them, or bingeing on danger foods at my boyfriend's; for letting one drink turn into two or three more nights a week than not; for ordering out... two nights in a row...
Yesterday, as a part of a major bedroom de-clutter project, I found and hung up this pair of size 6 jeans that I bought at a thrift shop a few months ago, reasoning that if I'm a 6 dress, surely a 6 jeans would fit me soon... and unfortunately they are still FAR too tight. (Remember, a 6 "curvy" works for me, and a 6 dress, but as a pear/hourglass, I may have a 30" ribcage, but I carry a huge percentage of my weight in my hips and thighs. And my soft, squishy bits are in my belly. Needless to say, this particular pair of buttery, gorgeous, perfect, jeans does NOT fit yet.)
I WILL NOT let myself sit on the couch or lie down and read for the whole day, nor even half the day. (Unemployment problems!) I will keep up with my housework and prepare fresh foods and track snacks and meals ahead and STICK TO THEM, and drink my water and take my supplements and drink my Healthy Fasting when I feel like munching. And I am going to pledge a total alcohol consumption per week of 4 units (which I will consider 4 shots, 4 small glasses of wine, or 8 uber-light (55-cal) beers).
I will keep going to Body Pump (I did today!) at least once a week and the gym at least three times a week. I went to a yoga class again finally, which I am proud of since it was a goal. I am proud that fitness is what I center my day around, and I will continue to schedule it in somehow when I do get a job!
I cried during that yoga class, though, and I felt a little bit like crying in Body Pump today... I am still so WEAK compared to others. Fifteen years I've been practicing yoga and can't do an arm balance. Over a year since I've been working out and lifting weights and I still can't do a proper lunge... my teacher wants me to do them with no weight, lest I blow my knees out. I can't do real push-ups still, not with any kind of form; certainly not the number we're asked to in class. My Wii Fit, while sometimes thinking I'm a yoga master, by other measurements thinks I'm something like fifty-seven. So depressing.
because I know that the stronger and fitter I get, the happier I am overall. Why does it have to be so SLOW though?