Monday, June 09, 2014
Yesterday I ran 6 miles. Itís the most Iíve run ever and it was hard. Not just a little hard but I canít breathe, I really want to walk, no maybe Iíll just stop completely and take a bus home hard. For the first time since starting my training program Iím worried I wonít finish my half marathon. 6 miles isnít even half of what I need to be able to run in 48 short days. I also feel like Iíve been running slower and slower as times goes on. Shouldnít I be getting faster? Shouldnít this be getting easier? Iím now nervous that Iíll get swept from the course and they wonít let me finish even if I want to. I have family coming in to watch me and Iíd hate for them to make the trip to watch me fail. Even worse then failing in front of my family is failing myself. I set this goal, I believed in myself and I have worked really hard for it. I set up a training program and havenít missed a day yet. I canít think of anything in my life that Iíve been as consistent at. Iíve run through the rain and the heat. Iíve run when there were much better opportunities like going out to happy hour with my co-workers. I have worked at this for 2 months and it all might be for nothing. Iím not going to give up yet. I guess the only thing I can do is put on my running shoes when I get home from work and hope for a better run.