Monday, June 09, 2014
Yesterday I ran 6 miles. It’s the most I’ve run ever and it was hard. Not just a little hard but I can’t breathe, I really want to walk, no maybe I’ll just stop completely and take a bus home hard. For the first time since starting my training program I’m worried I won’t finish my half marathon. 6 miles isn’t even half of what I need to be able to run in 48 short days. I also feel like I’ve been running slower and slower as times goes on. Shouldn’t I be getting faster? Shouldn’t this be getting easier? I’m now nervous that I’ll get swept from the course and they won’t let me finish even if I want to. I have family coming in to watch me and I’d hate for them to make the trip to watch me fail. Even worse then failing in front of my family is failing myself. I set this goal, I believed in myself and I have worked really hard for it. I set up a training program and haven’t missed a day yet. I can’t think of anything in my life that I’ve been as consistent at. I’ve run through the rain and the heat. I’ve run when there were much better opportunities like going out to happy hour with my co-workers. I have worked at this for 2 months and it all might be for nothing. I’m not going to give up yet. I guess the only thing I can do is put on my running shoes when I get home from work and hope for a better run.