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    MAZZIE973   7,246
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My Motivation Needs Examining


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Monday, June 09, 2014

I really need to reevaluate WHY I'm trying to lose weight. I didn't start strong when I first joined SP in March, but when the BLC began, I was doing great. Now, 6 weeks in, my mojo seems to be almost completely gone.

I've steadily lost about a pound each week,sometimes more, sometimes less, and haven't YET gained, but it's slowing. I'm not exercising as much, not tracking food as consistently, and not making good food choices very often. Some of it is due to legitimate reasons...I was sick for a few weeks, upper-respiratory stuff, which made exercise too much. The rest is excuses--stress, feeling down, "I'll make it up tomorrow"....

It's time to figure out the WHY. Why do I want to lose weight. Sure, I want cute clothes, to fit better in booths, cars, movie seats, take the kids to an amusement park and ride with them... But that's not the core.

The stock answer is "for my kids". Of course I want to live a long life, play energetically, not embarrass them. I think this is what I meant a few months ago when I would say I'm doing it for my kiddos.

I have a Dr's appt Thursday for the first lab work I've had in at least 3 years. I'm terrified that I may have hypothyroidism (I did after each kiddo was born, but it stabilized...but I was never this BIG); I'm terrified I may have insulin resistance or even diabetes (I've been this BIG for several years); I'm terrified my blood pressure is going to be high enough to need meds.

One would think that all of this fear would be motivation enough to keep me on track. It's not. I think that my self-esteem is so damaged right now that I can't make it a priority. Maybe I feel I'm not worth it? Maybe I'm afraid that if I fail I'll feel worse about myself?

So, now what? I am unable at this particular time to put my health in and of itself first. I have to put my kiddos first...I'd do anything for them. But I've slowed; lost my mojo. Why? Maybe it's because I AM playing more with them actively--outside rather than just crafts, games, reading, and movies. Maybe I've subconsciously been fooling myself that this alone means I'm doing better?

Whatever the reason, I cannot stop. I cannot give up. I cannot fail. I need fresh motivation!

I started really looking at my babies. My son is 9, and daughter is 7. Both are healthy weights for their heights. They finished school last week. They've done very little actively.

Matthew said he wants to play video games all summer and doesn't care if he's healthy (now Wii will only be allowed on rainy days or 1 hr on days we have no other activities--days with activities that are nice, none. DS only on long car rides). I've enticed him to come out and play basketball or play catch. He's resisted, but given in to me.

Lizzie persistently resists. Once she came out with a book and plopped herself in a chair (I used to pull that trick when I was a skinny kid...I soon became a chubby kid). I'm all for reading. We do the library program every summer, and read on our own or to each other at least 30 minutes daily, but activity is very important, too! The worst is that she likes NO fruits or veggies. On a good day she'll eat applesauce or green beans, but it's rare.

It finally hit me. I'm a bad example for my kiddos at a critical time in their childhoods; a time where they're still wanting to emulate me, to play with me, to please me! If I don't nip this in the bud NOW I'll be setting THEM up for weight struggles and self-esteem battles stemming from that!

SLAP! Reality just hit me in the face. HARD. I'm one of those "do as I say, not as I do" moms! I'm skipping breakfast and snacking on chips (even measured and tracked not a healthy choice, and done way too often!), and sitting inside reading or watching tv, while saying "EAT BREAKFAST!", "HAVE A HEALTHY SNACK!", and "GO PLAY OUTSIDE!". I'm a hypocrite, and my kiddos are old enough and smart enough to see this!!

It's stopping here. Today was rainy and Lizzie's Girl Scout picnic was cancelled, so we played games and watched movies. Lizzie went all day with no snacks except a measured serving of applesauce (Matthew ate a whole container of cherry tomatoes...I'm cool with that) because I said today was NO JUNK day.

Am I going to toss all junk from the cupboards? Many people do. I'm not. I don't want them to fear food. Instead, they, and I, will eat healthy, balanced meals. If we occasionally want chips or sweets, ok...but ONE SERVING. I will teach them to use the food scale, and at first, despite being environmentally unfriendly, we will measure any goodies into Ziplocs as soon as they're purchased, and they will only be permitted on weekends or special occasions. Matthew will be fine. Lizzie may be cranky due to hunger for a while, but I believe she'll eventually learn to like at least a few fruits and veggies. I'm not big on fruits, so she and I will do "tastings" together until we've expanded our taste pallets.

I THINK I've found a reality-based motivator...be a positive role model for my kiddos. It won't be easy. There will be tears and arguing from them as well as me. There will be mistakes, "slips", along the way. In the long run, I think this will work, and we will all be healthier for life.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GRAMPIAN 10/17/2014 6:08AM

  Good luck!

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SLLYONS51 9/2/2014 6:41PM

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MARGOH12 7/23/2014 9:09AM

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MAYBER 7/17/2014 11:39PM

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts you are an inspiration
best wishes one day at a time love prayers peace God Bless
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NHEMBERGER 7/7/2014 5:31PM

    Great blog! You will find your mojo!

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FRABBIT 6/28/2014 7:09PM

  Way to go!

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LINZEE118 6/24/2014 2:18AM

    I loved what you wrote. I know what you mean about losing your mojo. I'm in the same place also. Re-evaluate sounds like a excellent idea. emoticon emoticon

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CORNERKICK 6/22/2014 3:52PM

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CORNERKICK 6/21/2014 2:50AM

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SUPERSYLPH 6/18/2014 4:26PM

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WHITEANGEL4 6/17/2014 9:45AM

    Do you have a park or beach near by. Maybe regularly scheduled trips to places like that will encourage activity in both you and your children. We have a park that I will go on beautiful days and walk around admiring all of nature. Sometimes I will sit on a bench in the sun and read a short story, etc. This keeps me active and gives me a change of scenery. Hubby and I are planning a weekend at the beach also the end of the month. We will be doing lots of walking and it will not seem like work

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BANNERMAN 6/16/2014 6:04PM

  Thanks for sharing.

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OSEGUEDA 6/16/2014 12:54AM

    You can do this it's okay to feel like giving up but don't just keep moving it's okay to make mistakes we are not perfect but just keep moving forward you can do this you still change the way your children think about exercises and fruits and veggies make them smoothies or homemade ice cream out of fruits so there like them you in the right place there is so many of us here on sparks who have been or are in the same place but we can do this together helping and supporting each other we can do it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELLIEJOSIE 6/15/2014 7:34PM

    Your children need your good examples - you can do it!


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EGMINGA 6/15/2014 4:11PM

    emoticon emoticon I was very guilty of setting bad example of healthy living my boys do well but one has job that is physical and the other is in military. My daughter is obese as I am and I take much of the blame since I set so many bad examples. Now all I can do encourage her to learn from my mistakes and get the weight off before she starts having health issues because of her weight. emoticon

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HYATTI1 6/15/2014 9:52AM

    I feel you.

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MARYJEANSL 6/14/2014 11:59PM

  Motivation is tough - very tough. Arguing and fighting with kids who really don't care if they eat nutritious food is also very tough. I think you are actually doing quite well, even if it may not appear that way at first. At least you are sticking to your guns with the kids. That is so important, and it will eventually pay dividends.

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G33K10V3 6/14/2014 11:03AM

    Great job! You're right, you have to lead by example!! My daughter just turned 13 and she has lost a few pounds in this past year (she was a bit overweight) while me and my family have been eating healthier and exercising so it didn't take long AT ALL for her to want to eat better and also want to be more active with me and she ENJOYS it!

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NANSWA.50 6/13/2014 2:23PM

  Well said. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and fears. Today I'm facing the fear of going to the gym, walking out the door. I did yoga at home. Having a hard time myself staying motivated going to the gym. I don't know why I occasionally let myself down. Just one of those days?
Keep up the good work!

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AMYSYOKO 6/13/2014 9:22AM

  well said, you really have a plan!!! I enjoyed your blog and wish you and your kiddos all the best emoticon

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NEWTINK 6/13/2014 6:49AM

    I think it is wise to teach them and get them involved in your program ... I would just suggest that it not turn into a battle for life if they are healthy weights you can do some things to help but you dont want them to grow up resenting you and food. I wish you well and hope you and family are able to find a peaceful healthy life emoticon

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AMBER461 6/12/2014 8:56PM

 
Thank you for your motivational blog. You sound like you are on the right track. thanks for sharing.

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GRLTAZ 6/12/2014 6:17PM

    You can do it. May be try some smoothie recipes for the kids. They get fruits and veggies that taste like regular juice. Good luck with the kids.

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MRSRIGS1 6/12/2014 3:29PM

    It seems you found your mojo again! Good for you! emoticon

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KEIGHLEYHOTNESS 6/12/2014 3:10PM

  I really needed to here this today..thanks for putting yourself out there! emoticon emoticon

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JERICHO1991 6/12/2014 11:56AM

    Leading by example is definitely a good thing.

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STEVIEBEE569 6/12/2014 11:30AM

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NASFKAB 6/12/2014 10:56AM

  Awesome ideas very well put & so true all the best to you on you new ways

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CHICAMIMI 6/12/2014 9:34AM

    great blog post. Good luck with your new motivation...I've found that some days our motivation will be different than others, but you're asking yourself the right questions.

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DIAMOND102 6/12/2014 9:03AM

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WORKNPROGRESS49 6/12/2014 8:46AM

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NYKIMMIE 6/12/2014 8:29AM

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MARYELA 6/12/2014 7:50AM

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JOYFUL1977 6/12/2014 7:37AM

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CHERYLHURT 6/12/2014 7:01AM

  One day at a time!

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ANGELN325 6/12/2014 6:33AM

    So glad you did that exercise. I think you found a winner!

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DAISYPETAL 6/11/2014 10:37PM

    Great comments! You have decided to do this and now you WILL! But in the end you will have done it for yourself as well and they will love you even more for it when they see how great you look. Hugs and good luck. daisypeta/jude

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RADICALH 6/11/2014 5:57PM

    I really connected with this because my motivation does the same thing... so thank you for writing about it. I think it's important to always connect with why we are doing something. We have to keep it in the forefront of our minds. We know why we love our kids and why we do things with and for them (like tell them no!)... but do we know why we do things for ourselves? We need to remind ourselves everyday. Thanks again for reminding me to connect with my motivation!

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KATIEWILL5 6/11/2014 5:32PM

    Great job wanting to do it for your kids The best think you can do to keep the junk away is dont buy it teach the kids about ants on a log celery with peanut butter than you put raisiens on top find ways to make healthy foods together if you must have an ice cream well in order to have it you have to walk to the ice cream parlor not get in the car and it has to be the best if you cant buy the best you do not need it that goes for any high calorie food you might want if you are going to have the calories you need to enjoy them teach that to you children I proud to hear you want to be a good role model for them

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STARSHINE1CA 6/11/2014 4:59PM

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MICKVETTE 6/11/2014 3:36PM

    All I can say is: WOW! Potent and inspirational! I was eating my lunch (Cheeseburger and Lays Chips with 20 oz. of water) while reading this. I then looked down at my lunch - even though I posted all of this food to my nutrition side - and immediately closed up the potato chips and removed the top bun from my burger!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is such an inspirational blog. Thank you!

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GRANDMABABA 6/11/2014 2:26PM

    Kids are great motivation. My grandkids (3, 4, 5, 9, 11) motivate me. I want to dance at their weddings..a long way off, but will be here before I know it! Thanks for sharing.

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PATTYGIVENS 6/11/2014 2:07PM

  Awesome,you can do it,great example.

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RADICALH 6/11/2014 1:46PM

    I really connected with this because my motivation does the same thing... so thank you for writing about it. I think it's important to always connect with why we are doing something. We have to keep it in the forefront of our minds. We know why we love our kids and why we do things with and for them (like tell them no!)... but do we know why we do things for ourselves? We need to remind ourselves everyday. Thanks again for reminding me to connect with my motivation!

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THORPE23 6/11/2014 11:49AM

    emoticon Your kiddos will one day look back and appreciate what you did; for them and for yourself. Well done!

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KATHLEEN320 6/11/2014 9:25AM

    Take baby steps. One small change at a time.

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CARRIELYN56 6/11/2014 8:01AM

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WHYTEBROWN 6/11/2014 7:01AM

    emoticon You will be an emoticon role model for your kids!! emoticon emoticon

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CHERYLHURT 6/11/2014 6:53AM

  Do it for YOU!

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HERMIEME 6/11/2014 2:00AM

    Excellent honest genuine thoughts. Thank you. Good advice from people like wwwammytammy63. You can do it!

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