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    SENSUALWORDZ   1,923
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And time goes on

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

How frightening to see how many times I have tried to lose weight, and to get in shape. I start out good and then lose it... Now its getting so that I cant even get 2 days in a row..
I am also a Food Addict, I have tried Food Addicts Anonymous, and OverEaters Anonomous,, to no success, Again, I just want instant gratification or else I think its not for me.
I find it hard to adhere to all the "rules" of the 12 step programs and yet I am a 17 year member of AA which is an alcoholic 12 step program. I am absolutely a success there, except I cant seem to pull that programs success and commitment over to my food...
Yesterday I rejoined a FAA group on line, I thought hard about the first 2 steps in the 12 step program
1 Admitted I was an addict (food and computer use) and that my life was unmanageable
2. Came to believe that no one but my Higher Power can restore me to sanity..
Wow did I fit into those two steps

When you use food to assuage any feelings of sadness, depression, happiness, love, boredom, etc etc, and instead of doing what you should be doing, getting out to meet people, going to gym or even doing exercise at home, you begin to isolate and next thing you know you are on a binge,, a food binge
Add to that my lonliness and living alone means I have to get some of my social contact from the computer, plus its a great way to waste time, I started using the computer to also allow me to forget, and to sit at the computer playing games, and eating, eating, and then eating till I went into what I call a comatose state, I would fall asleep and wake hours later, only to have to go to bed.

Pretty unmanageable isn't it??

So, as I said, I rejoined the group on line, Im trying to take a few suggestions, one of them not to eat at the computer, or reversely not to bring any food near the computer and that includes my IPad at the kitchen table. Ha Ha we can always find ways to cheat
I made it through my first day, I walked, I planned food, and I continued to do "the next right thing"
I went to bed happy, and woke this morning feeling good about myself
Now im on day 2, Not as easy but Im determined,
After I get off this blog I will shut off computer and go outside and read.
I have already shopped (for a gift for a person whose b'day party im going to tonite) and one of the things is a bag of snacks, It is sitting on my counter, and is very tempting, but I know that anything like that I ate, would end up me eating the whole bag.. So Im ignoring the temptation and just had a decent lunch and tracked it here on Sparkpeople
I have exercised already, I have raked and gardened, and even got stung by a wasp, (which made me want to run inside and eat something to make me feel better.

Sparkpeople, even before I went to the FAA group you were always here for me to fall back on... Even when not successful because it always felt like there was hope
With you 10 min exercises How can I not be willing

If there are any other Food Addicts here Id love to share our experiences

Mariah
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SENSUALWORDZ 6/3/2014 10:26PM

    I prob have a hundred people, but when the "urge" hits to eat, it is so powerful that I suddenly don't want anyone to stop me, so I have to work hard at not letting it start


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MILPAM3 6/3/2014 7:16PM

  Do you have one other person you can contact when the urge to stay on the computer or eat in an unhealthy way starts "knocking on your door?"

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SIOL55 6/3/2014 4:37PM

  emoticon Good luck on your journey to good health!

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