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    VELVETDRAGONFLY   7,414
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Facing the truth about my failure.

Monday, June 02, 2014

I have not been active on the website since March, and I have put weight back on. I have not been succeeding and this is due to the fact that I stopped being careful in what I consume and I give in to my lazy nature. I still walk at least 1 mile 5 days a week, but because I have not been watching my calorie intake, and I do not push myself physically, it has stopped my progress.

I do wear my activity tracker most days. I have come to realize that it does not work for me while at hip level, but any pedometer I have tried never worked for me at hip level. I have switched to putting it on my shoe and it seems to work much better for me there. I love how it tracks the difference between regular walking and exercising. I was able to get a more accurate time frame for how long it takes me to walk that mile.

At this time the only thing I want to promise myself as far as getting back on track is to keep wearing the activity tracker everyday and to be more careful of the foods I eat. I know the important thing about falling off is that I get back up and keep trying, but I am afraid that because I keep doing that over and over that I am not going to succeed. Part of me feels that maybe I should just give up and face the fact that I will always be big, but then part of me still desires to be thin, and to not feel tired all of the time. I have become so comfortable with who I am that I forget sometimes the reasons I joined in the first place.

There are a lot of things about myself that I need and want to change. First and foremost, I need to stop giving up and giving in. I always back off when things get rough instead of pushing through. I need to be more careful when setting goals and making promises. If I say I am going to do it, then I better make sure it is something I can do and follow through with. Most important, I need to be more truthful to myself. I cannot keep making excuses for myself when I am not doing what I should to stay on goal. When I lie to myself or try to hide my setbacks, I am only hurting my progress.

So here I am, Starting again. If I am being honest with myself and anyone who is reading this, then I cannot promise that I will not fail again during this attempt. But, I can say with all honesty, I will never succeed if I do not keep starting up when I fail. So I go on and hope that if I have disappointed anyone that believed in me before (including myself) that I can one day prove that I can make myself a better person inside and out, and finally succeed in all of my goals.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THINFITFEMINIST 6/7/2014 3:29PM

    Until failure is no longer an option, you are always going to be tempted by it.

Get a reason for sticking to it without fail.

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WATERONE 6/7/2014 1:06PM

    Glad you are back. I tried and failed many times for the same reasons you have listed, but not this time. Don't quit. emoticon

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STEVEN2GO2 6/2/2014 3:20PM

    Maybe you want to start again with a few streaks. One or two would do it. Your are exercising, from what you wrote it is the nutrition part that is holding you back. Getting enough water and calorie tracking each day could work. You really are not 'starting over' you are just taking new positive steps along your journey. My step son who has autism says when life is tough,"DO NOT GIVE UP", especially on yourself! You can do this, I hope you feel you WILL succeed!

emoticon emoticon

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ALBURBRIDGE 6/2/2014 11:58AM

    Maybe a good goal would be to try and catch yourself faster after you fall. At least for me, I do the most damage when I let myself stop caring for weeks at a time. A meal or two of eating off track won't kill long term success as long as it's not every day. Or maybe you need to be a little more lenient with your food plan. Give yourself a "cheat" meal every so many days or something. Just some ideas since I don't know all your particular issues.

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