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    SCOTTYDOG76   224,810
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints

I need a Brain Check-up

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Not really -- it's nothing a medical doctor can advise me on. Instead I'm turning to my friends on SparkPeople to help me out, like you always do.

emoticon I have been on here way too often talking about the summer house and how the progress was not fast enough. Of course it isn't, it never is!

emoticon I have put most of you to sleep reading about it, but trying to give me your support even if you were bored!

emoticon I have said over and over how excited I will be to see "paint day" arrive and I would be doing the emoticon (that's Happy Dance)

Now that happy? day is right around the corner, and I'm like emoticon and I am disgusted with myself. I'm actually afraid I will fail myself over the week or so it takes to paint. Why? It's true my body is not in quite as good of a shape (arthritis) as it was when all this first started; but I know in my heart the painting is not really up to me. We have a professional painter who will be doing 99% of the work. Just to appease me, and let me think I am helping, he has agreed to let me paint closets or whatever I think I can handle. He's a sweetheart.

So can anyone tell me why I went on this eating binge and gained 1.4 pounds last night? Can anyone tell me why I suddenly feel apprehension instead of joy now that the painting stage is just around the corner?

I know as humans we are complicated, strange things -- but for me, this is the strangest of all. And totally unexpected.