I had manage in one year to lose 118 pounds. Tragedy struck. I had surgery that landed my in the hospital for weeks. I had to eat a high calorie diet while there to fight the infection. I gained 28 pounds during that time. Since then I have lost weight and then gain weight back. At one point giving up crossed my mine. I didn't let that thought stay there. I have to much to go on for. I have a goal that I have to make. I have the LORD to obey, by taking care of this temple of flesh. So I have take days to think about all I have to go back to if I gain that weight back. I wrote this list of all the reasons not to go back to that original weight or anything close to it. This list is an open book to all I went through when I weighed 336 pounds. I really weighed more than that. I had started my weight loss journey three weeks before going to the doctor to be weighed. My scale would not weigh beyond 300 pounds. I figure I weighed at least 10 more pounds than that before going to the doctor. I have had other things happen this year that has thrown me for a loop. I have had days of uncontrolled emotional eating. So I am struggling right now. I will overcome all of these things. I have the strength of the LORD on my side. I know because of that I will have victory over my struggle and will begin again on a healthy road.
My weight is 27 above what I had lost originally. I will get the weight off and begin were I left off battling to make my goal. I can do this! I did it before and I can do it again!
1. Being homebound for years.
2. Having to use a wheelchair if I went anywhere.
3. Multiple serious health problems.
4. I was taking many medications.
5. Not being able to walk over 20 feet.
6. Not being able to stand more than a few seconds.
7. Stressed all the time.
8. Not fitting into restaurant booths.
9. Not being able to tie my own shoes.
10. Having to have help dressing.
11. Having to have help bathing.
12. Ugly remarks and rude stares from family, friend, and strangers.
13. Multiple surgeries.
14. Not being able to go outside and work in the yard.
15. Due to my weight and health, I lost friends. They disappeared.
16. Poor self-esteem.
17. Poor self-image.
18. Feeling anger.
19. Not fitting into cinema seats.
21. Lack of care from doctors.
22. Not fitting in decent looking clothes.
23. Had constant pain and swelling in my legs.
24. Didn't care about my appearance anymore, because I was so big.
25. Feeling trapped in my body.
26. Feeling hopeless sometimes.
27. Depression from loneliness at times.
28. Limited from all the things I could do.
29. Not in family pictures.
30. Physical freedom gone.
31. Not being the best for the LORD.
32. Not able to travel.
33. Not able to fasten my seatbelt.
34. Unable to clean my house.
35. Feet stayed swollen and my shoe constantly hurt my feet.
36. Starved myself all day and ate a big supper at night. (Very bad!)
37. Felt guilty about being so big.
38. Felt embarrassed.
39. Felt shame.
40. Rarely when out shopping or to a restaurant. (Not many places were wheelchair friendly.)
41. Not able to sit in just any chair.
42. Stress on my shoulder joints from lift myself from a chair.
43. Rashes in the large skin folds I had.
44. I had to sit to do anything. I still have some limitations due to my back.
45. Had to rely on my husband way to much.
46. Couldn't look at myself (even my face) in the mirror.
47. Lived in a state of denial of how bad it was.
48. My obesity caused extra medical expenses.
49. Couldn't rest at night, because of the fat around my neck. It cut off my air.
50. Struggled to change sleeping positions through the night.
Many of you may have or are experiencing these things on my list. Some of you may have experience a few of them. Just remember we are in a war against unhealthy living. Our weapons are in front of us. We can win each battle that comes our way. Even the battles that waylay us sometimes. I find my strength in the LORD. You can find your strength, too. It isn't easy. Things worthwhile are never easy to come by. Living healthy, eating right and exercising is a better choice for me, than going back to living the list above. I make choices everyday. So I have to ask myself, "Why not make healthy choices for a better me?"