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    CANDOK1260   43,702
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Memorial Day & keep on track with healthy eating? and jokes


Friday, May 30, 2014

How do you celebrate Memorial Day & keep on track with healthy eating?Mother May I???? What do you need to "allow" yourself to do?
I eat my normal breakfast of smoothies and oatmeal but the rest of the day is a cheat day. But lunch was lot of fiber and dinner I just checked with a hot dog and potatoes salad.
The Marine
A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop.
They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

Enlistment
having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?""My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." he replied
"Oh? And what does your father do?" asked the doctor
The recruit responded "He's in the Army, sir."
Joke funny I hope
1. .Diets are for people who are THICK and tired of it.
2. THE FAST DIET: If you are thin, don't eat fast. If you are fat, don't eat-- FAST!!!
3. The best way to lose weight is by skipping... skip the desserts... skip the snacks... skip the beer... skip the SKIPPY. -
4. THE HAIGHT DIET: TO LOSE WEIGHT JUST EAT THE STUFF YOU HATE. 6. DIETING IS THE PENALTY FOR EXCEEDING THE FEED LIMIT.
7.CHOCOLATE. COFFEE. MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
8. IF YOU HAVE NO TASTE, A LOT OF FOOD GOES TO WASTE; BUT IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TASTE, A LOT OF IT WILL GO TO WAIST.
--
9. I'M ON A GRAPEFRUIT DIET. I EAT EVERYTHING BUT GRAPEFRUIT.
10. LORD, IF I CAN'T BE SKINNY, PLEASE MAKE ALL MY FRIENDS FAT!
11. THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF PEOPLE FALLING OFF THEIR DIETS IS FOOD.
12. A MOMENT ON THE LIPS, FOREVER ON THE HIPS.
13. DIETING IS MIND OVER PLATTER.
14. LIFE IS UNCERTAIN. EAT DESSERT FIRST.
15. No BODY is perfect.
16.Oh! that this too solid flesh would melt. William Shakespeare 17.Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Alexander Woollcott
18.Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a 90 ft Redwood. Erma Bombeck
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